Sunday, November 15, 2009

Oh, Oh, Olio

Cliché Today

Oleo vs. Olio: Writing is about having fun. This blog is officially entitled Olio, which comes from the Spanish word olla, meaning pot – the kind you cook in, not the kind you light up. The mixture of ingredients in that pot is called olio. But the word also means A collection of various artistic or literary works or musical pieces; a miscellany. Oleo, on the other hand, is a spread made chiefly from vegetable oils and used as a substitute for butter. Writers sometimes resort to (not so) clever terms as well as clichés to describe things. Today’s blog post, taken from an earlier one, will walk you through an olio of clichés. Enjoy.

As American as apple pie: Although cliché is a French word Americans prefer a cliché to a soufflé. Today I’ll go against the grain and although I have no axe to grind, will give you the bottom line while we drill down to get the information that is on the money. Some clichés are as clear as mud and their meanings are rarely as pure as the driven snow. But today I will start at the crack of dawn and write, and though my thoughts may come as slow as molasses in January, I won’t beat around the bush, even if this column leaves me between a rock and a hard place.

Blood is thicker than water: The idea for today’s topic came from a relative whose emails could fill a bottomless pit. Though she sometimes can’t see the forest for the trees, at other times she can be the cat’s meow. Thus I will forget Clairton for today, which is for the birds, and sit back as cool as a cucumber to write today’s column come Hell or high water. Hopefully you’ll find this one funnier than a barrel of monkeys but I won’t count my chickens before they hatch. Compared to my other 400 posts this one is just a drop in the bucket. Oh, you might think that composing this is as easy as falling off a log but it is as hard as a rock to do this. Even a blind squirrel can find an acorn beneath an oak tree, so I’ll just get my feet wet and go with the flow.

A good rule of thumb: Before you leave this site remember the grass is always greener on the other side, so don’t be a stick-in-the-mud. Laugh and the world laughs with you. It can cause a ripple effect. Send this to your friends and give them something to crow about. Soon enough we’ll all be pushing up daisies. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Your sorrows will be just a drop in the bucket, knock on wood. Life is a bowl of cherries. Laugh and the world laughs with you and soon your troubles will be as hard to find as a needle in a haystack. Sorrow is not my cup of tea. There’s no use crying over spilt milk, let yourself go. Be as nutty as a fruitcake. Avoid bummers like the plague.

Wake up and smell the coffee: With the economy in disarray it is well to remember that a penny saved is a penny earned. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Don’t tempt fate, look out for number one. Times might be rough as a corn cob but it ain’t over till the fat lady sings. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen. Politicians make me as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof and the political parties that caused this mess are like two peas in a pod. Birds of a feather flock together. They pulled the wool over our eyes then told us to put that in our pipe and smoke it. The bank CEOs who caused this mess by trying to pull a fast one need to take their attitude and stick it where the sun don’t shine. As voters we need to tell those asking for a handout, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” As we watched our 401K bite the dust until it bought the farm we needed to bite the bullet. Although there are dark clouds ahead every cloud has a silver lining. Do something to take your mind off your 401K. A watched pot never boils.

Take me out to the ball game: To take your mind off the economy, perhaps an athletic event is in order. Sit back, relax, and see who draws first blood. The game might be nip and tuck or a real barn burner. The teams might go at it like two heavyweights, fighting tooth and nail while the crowd goes wild as players give 110%. They certainly came to play. Yours is a blue collar team that shows flashes of brilliance but they are taking it one game at a time. Pretty soon your team will begin to take it to the next level. They thrive under pressure, rising to the occasion, and perhaps even breaking a record, as records are made to be broken. They control their own destiny. This is a must win situation. Your team was really dialed in. They left it all on the field.

Nothing ventured nothing gained: Now comes the time to wrap it up and put the pedal to the metal. We hope you enjoyed today’s column. Maybe we were pulling your leg a little. Maybe we were jerking your chain but don’t jump to conclusions. Was this satire or philosophy? You can’t judge a book by its cover. It is what it is. As for us, we’ll continue writing this tripe come Hell or high water. Most of what I write is on the tip of my tongue, and you can take that to the bank.

Next week we will get back to Clairton matters. Have a nice day.

A little blogging music Maestro... feel the pain--by my side--set me free--lost without you --broken heart--all we've been through--hold me close--my foolish pride--all night long--give you my heart--want you, need you, love you--all my love--more than friends--never let you go--more than words can say--when you walked into the room--when you came into my life--when I first saw you--dream come true--call on me--our love is forever, and the ever popular--oh baby....

Dr. Forgot

No comments: