Only in California
Can you hear me now?: July 1, 2008, a day in California that will live in infamy. Ok, so it won’t live in infamy, but today is the first day of the rest of your life to talk and not hold the phone while driving legally. There is no law in California against putting on lipstick, Chapstick, chaps, riding a broomstick, changing the radio station, arguing with your significant other or “partner,” (remember, this is California), yawning, eating dinner, petting your pet Shetland pony, or lighting a cigar, cigarette, or Tiparillo while driving. There is not even a law against talking on your cell phone while driving, provided the phone is operated hands free. And despite the fact that no statistical evidence exists to suggest that talking on the cell phone while driving is any safer if you are using a hands-free device, the law requires drivers who talk and drive to do so using a hands-free device. The only safe way to talk and drive is to quote the Governator: “I’ve got to go now but I’ll be back.”
Raiders of the Lost Brim: Indiana Jones wore one. So did Ole’ Blue Eyes. That’s Frank Sinatra to those of you not of a certain age. Who is Frank Sinatra? Let’s just say he’s not one of the Beach Boys. It is a fedora – a hat with a brim designed to keep the sun out of your eyes. The fedora is different from the traditional baseball cap in that it does not look cool worn backwards. But it does look cool, according to LA fashion plates. However, the new fedora, like the glitzy models of Rodeo drive, exude “thin is in.” A thin brim, that is. Thin brim fedoras, called stingy brims, have become the “in” thing to wear among the cool cat actor/musician/baby daddy set according to the LA Times. Looks like this season the hot hat with the thin brim is cool.
Can you see me now?: Believe it or not, everything that happens in California does not happen south of Fresno. Northern California has its share of news these days – mostly hot and smoky. Those wildfires, some 1500 of them are still burning in and around the Bay area and fire season is months away. Rolling thunder and lightning strikes have started many of the fires and rolling smoke and particulate-laden air has blanketed the foothills of the Sierra Nevada. I spoke to my good friend, Geno in Pleasanton over the weekend and he reports that the fires pose no immediate danger but the air quality resembles Pittsburgh in the early 1900s. The smoke has raced up I-80 past Sacramento to Reno. Firemen in Big Sur are hoping fog will to them get a handle on the inferno that has blackened nearly 570 square miles. Oh, what they wouldn’t give for some of the Midwest rains!
Adam and Eve, make room for Adam and Steve: The recent California Supreme Court ruling that struck down anti-gay marriage laws in California might be a financial boon to the state. The original rush to the alter has subsided and the hair stylists have gone back to their cubicles. California did not fall into the ocean – although I’m certain some radical religious nuts will draw a parallel between the symbolism of the fires of Hell mentioned above, and the legality of gay marriages. Wedding planners, florists, bakeries, and all the wedding support businesses are happy to see business on the rise. It is a great topic for late night TV comedians but in point of fact many gay and lesbian couples have lived “normal” heterosexual type lifestyles for generations. Some have children, either as the result of divorce, adoption of surrogate, and every bit of research suggests no significant difference in gender preference or any other behavior between children of gay parent families and those of hetero parents.
Rowdy teens cause problems at drug party: NOT! A weekend rave was scheduled at the L.A. Coliseum last weekend and 60,000 showed up. The Electric Daisy Carnival lasted until 4 a.m. and the kids, well, danced their ass off. One youth was arrested for an altercation and another for drunken driving. That was it! There would have been more trouble if 60,000 people had shown up for a tent revival. Somebody was one heck of an organizer. We’re always happy to end the blog on a happy note.
A little blogging music Maestro... “California Dreamin” by the Mamas and Papas.
Dr. ForgotSee me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/
Showing posts with label California. Show all posts
Showing posts with label California. Show all posts
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday, Monday
My Computer Can Beat Me At Chess, But Not Kickboxing
Home is where, when you go there they have to take you in: It was a beautiful and restful two weeks on the left coast. Aside from a few days with temperatures in the 90s they were mostly in the 60s and low 70s. There is something about the beach. People love it and as the realtors remind us, “They ain’t making any more of it.” Housing prices are still ridiculous on and near the beach. Very few choices exist, even condos with a view, for less than $ 1 million. And yes, I’, among the legions who say, “If only.” When I first visited Coronado Island, for example, condos were just starting to be built on the sand next to the famed del Coronado Hotel. Prices started at $ 47,000. Today those same condos start at more than $ 2 million. But that is all behind me now, literally, as I’m soaking up the Las Vegas sunshine, all 109 degrees of it.
Left Coast North: The San Diego area has been pretty much fire free thus far this season – although the season has not yet begun to fry. The northern part of the state has been a different story. Nearly 600 square miles have been ablaze at one time or another in 1,500 different separate incidents. Governor Terminator is taking heat from the fireworks company over his statement asking residents to not purchase fireworks this year. However much we like to find culprits in such circumstances the finger must this time be pointed at Mother Nature. Less than average rainfall has resulted in parched conditions. Lightning strikes are blamed for starting the Hell on Earth.
Of Generals, Pundits, and Politicians: Some from the Demo side are saying to Repubs, “You can dish it out but you can’t take it.” The reference is to the morally bankrupt group who named themselves “Swiftboat Veterans” and poisoned the well of information regarding John Kerry’s heroic military service during the last presidential election. In the more recent battle of the blowhards, General Wesley Clark opined that while Senator McCain is a war hero and has traveled worldwide, “He hasn’t held executive responsibility.” The other side screamed like so many hungry piglets. They blame Senator Obama for Clark’s comments and cry foul. The fact remains however that General Clark honored McCain’s service to his country, but questioned whether his service and lack of direct command experience qualifies him any more than Senator Obama’s experience. Clark does bring up a legitimate question regarding the executive responsibility that has been implied but not defined.
Auditioned for Mr. America. Lost my citizenship: Very few of us have the bodies of Victoria’s Secret or Hanes Mens Underwear models. The closest some of us come to looking like a million dollars is being all green and wrinkled. Some of us are so thin we could model for a zipper company if we turn sideways and stick out our tongue. Others resemble the original Pillsbury Doughboy. But regardless of what our bodies look like in this life, there is an opportunity to pose nude in the next life. Many people who believe their bodies should be dissected, preserved and displayed are signing up to give over their corpses to Body World, the group that provides exhibits of bodies. Thus far more than 8,600 people have signed up. Donors for dollars!
Reese’s Pieces aren’t among these Mars Bars: Ever since I can remember the planet Mars has held a special fascination with Earthlings. Science fiction stories usually set there. It held a certain romance. Who ever wanted to fight little green men from Uranus? Getting there was purely the flight of fantasy. But just as we were able to loose our bonds from Earth to land on the moon, so have we been successful to land a craft on Mars. Residue that has been scooped and analyzed has given us a sense of the look, feel, taste, and smell of the Red Planet. Alas, another fantasy destroyed. The Martian dirt is similar to that in our backyard, except for the moles and worms of course. In fact, the report found nothing toxic, which places the quality of life on Mars ahead of Love Canal, Chernobyl, and several other Earth locations. Soon dictionaries might have to change the definition of “Out of this World.”
A little blogging music Maestro... “Rocket Man” by Elton John
Dr. Forgot
See me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/
Home is where, when you go there they have to take you in: It was a beautiful and restful two weeks on the left coast. Aside from a few days with temperatures in the 90s they were mostly in the 60s and low 70s. There is something about the beach. People love it and as the realtors remind us, “They ain’t making any more of it.” Housing prices are still ridiculous on and near the beach. Very few choices exist, even condos with a view, for less than $ 1 million. And yes, I’, among the legions who say, “If only.” When I first visited Coronado Island, for example, condos were just starting to be built on the sand next to the famed del Coronado Hotel. Prices started at $ 47,000. Today those same condos start at more than $ 2 million. But that is all behind me now, literally, as I’m soaking up the Las Vegas sunshine, all 109 degrees of it.
Left Coast North: The San Diego area has been pretty much fire free thus far this season – although the season has not yet begun to fry. The northern part of the state has been a different story. Nearly 600 square miles have been ablaze at one time or another in 1,500 different separate incidents. Governor Terminator is taking heat from the fireworks company over his statement asking residents to not purchase fireworks this year. However much we like to find culprits in such circumstances the finger must this time be pointed at Mother Nature. Less than average rainfall has resulted in parched conditions. Lightning strikes are blamed for starting the Hell on Earth.
Of Generals, Pundits, and Politicians: Some from the Demo side are saying to Repubs, “You can dish it out but you can’t take it.” The reference is to the morally bankrupt group who named themselves “Swiftboat Veterans” and poisoned the well of information regarding John Kerry’s heroic military service during the last presidential election. In the more recent battle of the blowhards, General Wesley Clark opined that while Senator McCain is a war hero and has traveled worldwide, “He hasn’t held executive responsibility.” The other side screamed like so many hungry piglets. They blame Senator Obama for Clark’s comments and cry foul. The fact remains however that General Clark honored McCain’s service to his country, but questioned whether his service and lack of direct command experience qualifies him any more than Senator Obama’s experience. Clark does bring up a legitimate question regarding the executive responsibility that has been implied but not defined.
Auditioned for Mr. America. Lost my citizenship: Very few of us have the bodies of Victoria’s Secret or Hanes Mens Underwear models. The closest some of us come to looking like a million dollars is being all green and wrinkled. Some of us are so thin we could model for a zipper company if we turn sideways and stick out our tongue. Others resemble the original Pillsbury Doughboy. But regardless of what our bodies look like in this life, there is an opportunity to pose nude in the next life. Many people who believe their bodies should be dissected, preserved and displayed are signing up to give over their corpses to Body World, the group that provides exhibits of bodies. Thus far more than 8,600 people have signed up. Donors for dollars!
Reese’s Pieces aren’t among these Mars Bars: Ever since I can remember the planet Mars has held a special fascination with Earthlings. Science fiction stories usually set there. It held a certain romance. Who ever wanted to fight little green men from Uranus? Getting there was purely the flight of fantasy. But just as we were able to loose our bonds from Earth to land on the moon, so have we been successful to land a craft on Mars. Residue that has been scooped and analyzed has given us a sense of the look, feel, taste, and smell of the Red Planet. Alas, another fantasy destroyed. The Martian dirt is similar to that in our backyard, except for the moles and worms of course. In fact, the report found nothing toxic, which places the quality of life on Mars ahead of Love Canal, Chernobyl, and several other Earth locations. Soon dictionaries might have to change the definition of “Out of this World.”
A little blogging music Maestro... “Rocket Man” by Elton John
Dr. Forgot
See me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/
Thursday, February 28, 2008
"It's Not My Fault." San Andreas
AROUND THE HORN
La La Jolla Land: We recently spent time in La Jolla, CA, a suburb of San Diego and discovered they have news there too. Some of the happenings in the Village meet the “only in…” criteria. The latest fight in La Jolla is whether or not to place parking meters in the village (downtown) area. The local news media points out that a group of radicals from, of all places, Vail, CO have voiced their opinions that parking meters would benefit. From this outside observer’s opinion it looks like the proponents might get run out of town on a parking meter.
Beach booze ban benefits: A year or so ago La Jolla (pronounced La Hoya) banned booze from its beaches. The ban worked so well that neighboring beaches decided to go and do likewise. The drunks at those beaches are now protesting that they have nowhere to wile away their time and panhandle. Only in California. Also, city fathers (and mothers – remember, this is California) are considering installing cameras to watch for crime – I guess like drinking and stuff. Word on the street is that city workers are fighting over who gets to monitor those cameras.
More booze problems: It happened in a neighboring city. The police came upon a drunk who was passed out on the sidewalk. He had a companion also three sheets to the wind. The police recognized the drunk and loaded him into the patrol car for a few block ride home. That was that until local media got hold of the story. Seems the drunk was the mayor and the friend was a city worker. Well, at least he wasn’t drunk on the beach or he’d have really been in trouble.
One more California story: While the rest of the country is debating about insurance coverage and aliens from south of the border a clever man from San Diego is actually doing something about it. Jim Ariola grew up poor in San Diego. He excelled in sports and set a record for running the mile that still stands. After high school he attended the U.S. Military Academy. He returned home to become a businessman and entrepreneur. His latest venture is to offer health insurance to mostly poor Hispanics who can use doctors on either side of the border. Why does this sound like a good idea? Probably because this guy is no politician.
A few bits of tid: Tattoos fade. Seems that fewer Americans are marking themselves up with tattoos. Numbers are down about 3% of those who mark their bodies like only drunken sailors used to. The feds hve delayed construction of a virtual fence along the Mexican border. I guess there aren’t enough virtual illegal aliens to justify it. Pitcher Roger Clements is in trouble for fibbing to a houseful of liars. What’s wrong with that picture?
A little blogging music Maestro… how about “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off.
Dr. Forgot
La La Jolla Land: We recently spent time in La Jolla, CA, a suburb of San Diego and discovered they have news there too. Some of the happenings in the Village meet the “only in…” criteria. The latest fight in La Jolla is whether or not to place parking meters in the village (downtown) area. The local news media points out that a group of radicals from, of all places, Vail, CO have voiced their opinions that parking meters would benefit. From this outside observer’s opinion it looks like the proponents might get run out of town on a parking meter.
Beach booze ban benefits: A year or so ago La Jolla (pronounced La Hoya) banned booze from its beaches. The ban worked so well that neighboring beaches decided to go and do likewise. The drunks at those beaches are now protesting that they have nowhere to wile away their time and panhandle. Only in California. Also, city fathers (and mothers – remember, this is California) are considering installing cameras to watch for crime – I guess like drinking and stuff. Word on the street is that city workers are fighting over who gets to monitor those cameras.
More booze problems: It happened in a neighboring city. The police came upon a drunk who was passed out on the sidewalk. He had a companion also three sheets to the wind. The police recognized the drunk and loaded him into the patrol car for a few block ride home. That was that until local media got hold of the story. Seems the drunk was the mayor and the friend was a city worker. Well, at least he wasn’t drunk on the beach or he’d have really been in trouble.
One more California story: While the rest of the country is debating about insurance coverage and aliens from south of the border a clever man from San Diego is actually doing something about it. Jim Ariola grew up poor in San Diego. He excelled in sports and set a record for running the mile that still stands. After high school he attended the U.S. Military Academy. He returned home to become a businessman and entrepreneur. His latest venture is to offer health insurance to mostly poor Hispanics who can use doctors on either side of the border. Why does this sound like a good idea? Probably because this guy is no politician.
A few bits of tid: Tattoos fade. Seems that fewer Americans are marking themselves up with tattoos. Numbers are down about 3% of those who mark their bodies like only drunken sailors used to. The feds hve delayed construction of a virtual fence along the Mexican border. I guess there aren’t enough virtual illegal aliens to justify it. Pitcher Roger Clements is in trouble for fibbing to a houseful of liars. What’s wrong with that picture?
A little blogging music Maestro… how about “Stop the World, I Want to Get Off.
Dr. Forgot
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