Week on the Beach

ATTENTION INVESTORS AND GARDNERS: What goes down must come up

401K to 201K to #%&K: We are in the beginning of a recession – or is it a depression? Or are we in the middle – or closing in on the end? Remember the recession of the 1980s when the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be a train coming toward you? So many reports about the health of the economy. So many experts. Of course one sage once said that an ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure, so draw your own “expert conclusions. Moody’s Investment Services recently said that despite the burgeoning debt of the USA, we still retain the highest possible credit rating –“AAA.” That means that there seems to be a very good chance that the U.S will be able to pay off its debts eventually. AAA also means that if one of your car’s tires goes flat a guy will come out to change it, so that seems to be a good thing all the way around.

GM now stands for Government Motors: Remember the cry, “Save your Confederate money boys, the South will rise again?” Well the same might be said for stock in General Motors as it has sunk below Bambi’s Daddy. That would be a buck. The wild ride, or parachuting of the GM stock began in 2000 when it climbed close to a Franklin per share (that’s a hundred bucks) but began to swan dive shortly thereafter. However it did a Mexican jumping bean dance for the next several years and finished above $ 40 per share in late 2007. But since then GM seems to have gone the way of roll up side windows and tumbled to a low of 85 cents. Now might be a good time to pick up some of the GM stock, especially if the adage at thee top of the blog holds true.

1,2,3,4 Will they confirm Sotomayor?: Supreme court nominee Sotomayor seems to have been both a needed selection and a brilliant move on the part of President Obama. Although we have looked askance at some of his recent decisions, this one seems to have been right on the money. Of course the nominee is a Latina woman but her credentials are impeccable. In every political decision there must be vetting and opposition – that is how the system works. But political pundits and talking heads from the other party seem to make themselves look ridiculous as they attack phantom issues in an effort to show some level of opposition. We predict that not only Judge Sotomayor be confirmed she will have a distinctive run as Supreme Court Justice.

Maps of Afghanistan are sandpaper: The national bird call in Afghanistan is “Duck.” US soldiers reported killing 34 insurgents in East Afghanistan yesterday. The president says our presence is needed in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and many other stans in the neighborhood. Across the globe, the Nut Case of North Korea, Little Kim continues to rattle his bottle rockets scaring the Hell out of his neighbors. One must wonder, “Why are we the only ones upset enough over these world activities to send troops?” We currently have 28,000 troops stationed in South Korea and it is reported that they are preparing for war if needed. Am I the only one who wonders why other superpowers don’t look after their own ‘hoods? Hello! China! Can you hear me? The little nut case poses more a problem to YOU and his Asian neighbors than to the US. Hello! Russia! I know you had the good sense to get out of Afghanistan with your tail between your legs but is this not closer to your neighborhood than to ours?

The future isn’t what it used to be: Future 1 - Football. Tom Brady throws a mean missile and is a Patriot. The New England quarterback’s future however will be determined by how well he recovers from that most dreaded of all football diseases, knee-monia. He missed the entire season last year after a devastating knee injury during the first game. After surgery an infection threatened to end his football career but Brady has a bunch of courage and has returned to practice with teammates. During his glory days he dated the most beautiful models in the world and made a little Brady, but during his rehab he married. Guess it was too hard to run around on one leg.

The future isn’t what it used to be: Future 2 - politics. Its as easy as ABC; All ‘Bout Chicago. Illinois guv Blogo saw the curtain falling on his career about the same time he was to appoint a replacement to finish the Senatorial term of the Barackster. But Babbling Blogo bamboozled Burris to be top banana among a backdrop of balderdash and bluster. A backlash resulted because some saw this as backhanded but Blogo would not budge and Burris would not back down. Burris bade Blogo goodbye and boogied to the badlands of DC faster than a bad check could become a bad debt. Blogo the half-baked bumpkin was left to battle the big boys in his own bailiwick. But unbeknownst to Burris, the FBI was in the basement and with a barrage of double talk they heard him barter and bequeath buckets of bucks to Blogo’s brother. Busted!

The future isn’t what it used to be: Future 3 – Sci Fi. Although we are surrounded by the wonders of technology more or less predicted by Jules Verne, Dick Tracy, and Star Trek, some shortcomings still exist. Namely, traffic free cities, pollution free environments and Jet Packs have yet to appear on the scene. The patent office does not yet need to close for those who imagine items of the future still have plenty to work on including teleporting (Beam me up, Scotty), clean renewable energy, and that doggone jet pack. Live long and prosper.

A little blogging music Maestro… “Another Day in Paradise” by Phil Collins.

Dr. Forgot
http://drforgot.com

Of Hometowns, Politics, and Basketball

A Weekend Wasted isn’t a Wasted Weekend

Clairton Bits of Tid: We have written about our hometown in the past, mostly about the heyday of the 1950s when the steel mills paid hefty property taxes which in turn allowed the community to thrive and prosper and pretend they were uppity, although they knew they were humble. Then as every boom turns to bust so did the steel making industry in the U.S. With the property taxes from the mill no longer a source of income personal property taxes were unable to fill the gap. Civil services were sliced and diced until at one point Clairton could not even maintain its own police force and the county assumed those duties. The brain trust that left to attend college settled elsewhere in jobs nad professions not sustainable in Clairton. The City withered.

Some chose to stay and fight: Many second, third, and even fourth generation Clairtonians stood valiantly against the coming times as business closed and population dwindled. But the pride of the Clairton Bears and its athletic teams continued to fight on as though the ghost of Ken Stilley, Jim Kelly, Andy Berchock, Judge Dickson, and the many other football stars cheered them on. The team overcame odds as CHS repeatedly whipped opponents whose schools were larger. Their economy might be dying but their hearts are strong. But that damn economy!

Few bad mortgages here: As the housing bubble burst in other parts of the country, toxic mortgage loans in Clairton were nearly nonexistent for their values had sunk to prices considerably less than the price of a new car years earlier. My good friend and former CHS classmate Dr. Ron recently sent me a newspaper clipping that summarized housing values in Clairton and surrounding communities. In 2007 Elizabeth Borough and Glassport, just across the river from Clairton the median price for homes were $ 54,000 and $ 38,000 respectively, while the mean price of a home in Clairton was $ 19,000. In 2008 Elizabeth Borough median housing price rose to $ 58,000 while Clairton’s median price dropped to $ 16,500, or 25% less than a used Honda. With housing at such levels, and some beautiful, well kept homes in Clairton, I would not be surprised for a renaissance in housing as the economy grows.

Ah, March Madness: This was a near-perfect weekend. Plenty of good college basketball filled the television screen. We celebrated my goddaughter’s fortieth birthday, a good friend’s sixtieth, and a neighbor’s eightieth. Most of those near and dear to my heart have employment, and college basketball dominated the weekend. Of course all my teams did not win thus I didn’t win any pools, but the weather was nice. And, oh yes, my federal income taxes have been filed. My 401K sucks. Probably should have invested my money in a Ponzi scheme. But life is good overall. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Wrath of Basketball Gods: March Madness is a phrase that probably very few jocks or basketball fans know is borrowed from the Bard. That’s Shakespeare’s Hamlet for those of you who were absent that day. Not to be confused with his Julius Caesar who was told to “Beware of the Ides of March.” That refers to March 15, 44 B.C. the date Caesar was murdered. So Sunday was the 2,053nd anniversary of his death. But for fans today is the last day for amateur bracketologists to try to figure out which teams will advance to the NCAA Big Dance. As usual the cigar-chewing fat and pompous cats from the NCAA loaded up on conference favorites – as many as 7 per, and largely ignored those who happen to be out of the Eastern Standard time slot. Also, with all the talk about saving money and energy by keeping teams close to their home campus.... not so much.

Need some new material: The past eight years have been heaven for talk show hosts, pundits, and others that make fun of politicians. One of the lines about former President Bush was that he received a memo that 2 Brazilian soldiers were injured in a skirmish. His response was, “How many is a Brazillion?” Well, the never-ending circulation of opposition emails by the Bushies has taken a page from that spoof and decided to attribute it to President Obama. The joke was that Obama didn’t know the difference between a trillion and a Brazilian. It had something to do with the bailout but the joke fell flat. Let’s face it; Democrats are better at partying, joking and having a good time and Republicans are better at being corporate. When they try to invade each others territory neither does it well.

Material for the Republican jokesters: Ok, let me try to help the Republicans out: AIG was able to justify the $ 165 million in bonuses because they just made $ 170 billion – in bailout money. Iowa Senator suggested AIG execs should follow the Japanese model and either resign and apologize or commit hara-kiri (suicide). Fellow Republicans thought he’d given them too many choices. AIG promised to use some of the bailout money for a public works project. They plan to build a big toilet to flush the rest of the money down. After several setbacks for Cabinet appointments, Obama is going for a safe bet to head the Food and Drug Administration; Rush Limbaugh. The hardcore Southern Conservative Republicans are said to be searching their grandfather’s trunks for confederate money. There is talk that the cost of books in the George W. Bush library could exceed $ 30.President Bush has made the transition to ranch smoothly but Dick Cheney is having a hard time not being president any longer. AIG is changing its name to AICG fos “All I can Get.” Nancy Pelosi and J. Edgar Hoover wear the same style of dress. America now has its first minority president and first vice president with hair plugs.

Before today’s curtain drops: I have a friend who boasts that he was living with a cute girl for several months – until she realized he was there. Reader Sandra admits she has a short fuse. She wonders if you choke a smurf, what color will it become? Then there was my friend Pete who was such a sadist he refused to beat a masochist. Ok, ok, that’s enough for today.

A little blogging music Maestro... “Basketball Jones,” featuring Tyrone Shoelaces.

Dr. Forgot
http://drforgot.com

News and Views

Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups

Did Ya Miss Me?: We’ve been spending some time on the left coast - that place where San Andreas once said, “It’s not MY fault.” We were fortunate enough to get caught in the traffic of the U.S. Open golf tournament in which some guy from Greensburg, PA failed to Mediate a win-win against a Tiger. For one who equates the excitement of watching golf right up there with watching grass grow, the Tournament at Torrey Pines was about as exciting as golf can be. San Diego did itself proud handling the crowd of more than 300,000 who watched the series. The best post-tourney line came from Jimmy Kimmel when he asked Senator John McCain if he was rooting for the young black guy or the old white guy. Post script: The victory might have aggravated the knee of the Tiger badly enough to cause him to scrub the rest of the season.

More Sports of All Sorts: Wrapped around the Torrey Tiger golf tourney were the NBA Championship finals, Kudos to the team and staff of the Boston Celtics. The playoffs ended up being a left-coast vs. right coast battle with the world’s best player wearing #24 (Kobe). In keeping true to the Mighty Casey at the Bat poem, #24 and his team struck out and today there is no joy in Mudville (L.A.). Some sports pundits observed that #24 is no #23 (Michael Jordan). If you’re a basketball fan, you’ll understand that.

When you’re dealt lemons, make lemonade: California is often referred to as “The land of fruits and nuts.” Of course this reference generally comes from residents of states that are jealous of the eternal sunshine, beautiful people, convertibles, and silicone. But California for all its sins has a hard line cadre of right wing ultra conservative religious zealots who disdain the, shall we say, more open-minded set. Unless you live in a cave without TV you know that gay marriage has become the law of the land in the Land of Milk and Honey. A few folks waved anti-gay banners as Star Trek’s Mr. Sulu and his blushing “Party B” joined many other gays who heard wedding bells. But some more business-minded conservatives posited that the law will bring in sorely needed tourist dollars from those in the other 49 states who wish to come to West Coast Eden and become Adam and Steve.

Battle of the Candidate’s Wives: The burning question among some pundits is, “How much press should the spouses of presidential candidates receive for simply being spouses?” Republicans and conservative pundits seemed to fire the first salvo as they chastised Michelle Obama for a comment regarding pride and her country. The other team struck back in a not-so-sweet manner citing Cindy McCain’s Recipegate, in which she represented as her own a recipe that belonged to another. Oh, oh, there she goes again. July’s Family Circle magazine asked each of the then candidate’s spouses to submit a recipe. Bill Clinton offered one and credited the family cook. Michelle submitted one credited to her daughter’s godmother. “Cindy McCain’s Oatmeal-Butterscotch cookies” were attributed to a good friend. But a sharp-eyed baker soon discovered the recipe on Hersheys.com. Whoops. Something smells here. In the future perhaps Cindy should only submit beer recipes.

Drove my Chevy to the levee and got busted: Tornadoes and flooding are two good reasons not to own a home in the Midwest these days. Perhaps frustration over being kept away is a third. Homeowners were forced from their homes by authorities and not allowed to return until those same authorities determined it was safe. Some homeowners took exception. One in particular tried to drive around a barricade, his truck reportedly bumped a guard and guns were immediately trained on him. This was not some radical from the big city. This was an Iowa farmer who felt he needed to assess the damage impact on his life and livelihood. Big Brother claims he knows better. Perhaps we need to just sit back and let our government make all the decisions for us. Trust FEMA.

A little blogging music Maestro… “High Water Everywhere,” by Joe Bonamassa.

Dr. Forgot

The Quintessence of Athletic Atrocity

News and Views to Peruse – Sports of All Sorts

Must Tiger Worry about Torrey: Today’s blog is rife with sports news. No NFL player was busted for drugs. No NBA player was cited for beating his wife or girlfriend. However a disgraced former NBA referee who says he might not be the dirtiest claims fellow refs intentionally determined the outcomes of NBA games. Although football and basketball are two real sports in which players wear uniforms and sweat and have bench-clearing brawls, golf is considered by some a sissy game. No uniforms are worn by golfers (why, in baseball even COACHES wear uniforms) and golfers don’t get to assault one another. Other sports heroes wear bling, do rap videos, and set new standards for vulgar language. Occasionally a golfer might be overheard to say, “Shucks,” or “Awwww heck,” or even, “Dadgummit.” Occasionally one might get really angry and throw his club into the water, but there is no eye gouging, crotch grabbing, or intentional fouling. No 15-yard penalties, and no home field advantage in golf. At this writing Tiger Woods is tied for thirteenth place in the Torrey Pines U.S. Open. Yawn.

What Happens in Vegas is Expensive: That crazy guy with the blond Fu-Manchu moustache is making news again. Ex - Mrs. Hulk Hogan known on official court documents as Linda Bollea, has asked a judge to do her a teeny-weeny favor. She wants Terry Bollea, whose wrestling name is Hulk Hogan, to spend some time in a hammer-lock – or at least in a lockup. The Hulkster seems to have met his wrestling match with his ex when he chose to not make payments on their little $ 4.2 million Vegas condo, located at the Palms Hotel and Casino. The Palms is where everybody who is anybody hangs out and hooks up in Vegas. If the Pinellas County, Florida judge pins the Hulkster to the jail mat, he might end up in Condo Hoosegow as a roommate to his son, currently serving 8 months for “Driving like an idiot.”

Mighty Croatia Scores Another Upset: I love Croatia. That country with a coastline every bit as dazzling as California’s is the place to be among Europeans. For its size Croatia produces massive numbers of sports heroes. From BYU star Kresimir Cosic and All NBA Toni Kukoc (Basketball) to Goran Ivanisevic and Jelena Pandzic (tennis), and even major stud actor Goran Visnjic, Croatia is in a constant state of overachievement. Their names might be hard to pronounce but their deeds are legendary. So as not to destroy that image Croatia’s soccer team just defeated the vaunted German team in the Euro 2008 European Soccer Competition. Let’s all raise a glass of slivovica, the Croatian plum brandy that will put hair on your chest, to honor the victory.

No Pee-wees Among the WWE: My college days were not consumed with athletic achievements – unless you count those three wrestling matches in the back seat of a Packard. I was pinned two out of tree. It did not take me long to outgrow my fanatic obsession with the likes of Gorgeous George (no relation to Boy George) or the other overweight, over-the-hill, overacting stuntmen of professional wrestling. But though I no longer appreciate it, I can understand ongoing fascination with WWE RAW wrestling. Vince McMahon is a promotional genius and has spoofed his way into a multi-million dollar venture. Instead of Full Nelsons and Hammer Locks by beer gut has-beens, the gym is loaded with rippling muscles and bulked up frames. Some even retire pursue a less legitimate career – like former Governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura.

A little blogging music Maestro... The ABC Sports theme song with the accompanying, “The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat.”

Dr. Forgot

Artificial Intelligence vs. Natural Stupidity

A Weekend Wasted isn’t a Wasted Weekend

Wrath of Basketball Gods: March Madness is a phrase that probably very few jocks or basketball fans know is borrowed from the Bard. That’s Shakespeare’s Hamlet for those of you who were absent that day. Not to be confused with his Julius Caesar who was told to “Beware of the Ides of March.” That refers to March 15, 44 B.C. the date Caesar was murdered. So today is the 2,052nd anniversary of his death. But for fans today is the last day for amateur bracketologists to try to figure out which teams will go to the NCAA Big Dance (college basketball playoffs) and which will stay home. Perhaps the basketball gods were making their preferences known when they huffed and puffed and almost blew down the Atlanta arena that was hosting playoffs.

With friends like this: Now that Albany Whoregate seems to have fizzled out media pundits are searching for new muck to rake. There is probably no truth to the rumor that former VP candidate Geraldine Ferraro who dissed and denied will be the new host of the Imus show. She’s old news too. But Fox News might have caught one that will last more than 72 hours. The Barackster’s minister has made controversial statements. If that is a criterion for being lambasted I’m hoping the media never finds out who my friends are.

Space jockeys work well with Son of HAL: Remember HAL in 2001 Space Odyssey? He was the computer in the space ship who was the lone astronaut’s best friend until they had sort of a lover’s spat. Then HAL proved he had a mind of his own, which led to the end of the mission. Today the space station’s new robot, Dextre, is powered up and operating smoothly. Dextre has its own bed, called a pallet, and now has power. To date everything is working well and no Klingons have been spotted.

Space station – Vegas connection: Speaking of space stations one must include Star Wars in the mix. Star Wars producer George Lucas flew into the Valley of the Dollars for the annual theater owners convention, Showest. He teased the group with clips from the latest Star Wars movie, The Clone Wars, premiering the ides of August. It will be a TV series as well so future astronauts can learn the finer points of surviving when clones go wild. The movie will refresh Obie-wan in the theaters during the time Obie-two is making a run for the presidential nomination. Who says life doesn’t imitate art?

A little blogging music Maestro... a bit of Strauss, “Also Sprach Zarathustra,” also known as the theme from “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

Dr. Forgot

Who The Hell is Harvey Hyde?

The Trojan Knows

In the early 1980s UNLV was looking for a head football coach. Yes, UNLV does play football - think Randall Cunningham, Ickey Woods, Keenan McCardell, Charles Dimry... A coach named Harvey Hyde was identified. He had been the very successful head football coach at Pasadena City College but was virtually unknown in Las Vegas. Local fans would have settled for, oh, Vince Lombardi or even Mike Ditka but the football program at the time was barely a dozen years old and had just begun playing at the Division I level. Harvey Hyde was the choice. It turned out to be not such a bad choice. After an initial losing season he took the Rebels to their first Division I post season bowl game.

Years have passed and Harvey Hyde's tenure as a head football coach is but a memory but he still graces the radio waves as a sports talk pundit. He does pregame shows for USC as well as a post-game show. Today I was his guest on one of his shows along with engineer/sidekick Chris Engler and as always topics were varied and controversial. Questions arose such as, "Did Bobby Petrino show disloyalty to by bolting from the Falcons after less than a full season? (No - he probably made the right move scooting back to the Arkansas and the college level). Will Les Miles skip from LSU and go to Michigan after the bowl game? (No, the average pay for head coaches in the Big 10 is roughly half that of head coaches in the SEC). Why do high visibility players such as Mike Vick get into trouble? (See my post of a few days ago on that topic).

The topic of sports is one that gets people interested and passionate. When a college administrator once asked why athletes received scholarships to go to college a grizzled coach responded, "Because 60,000 screaming fans will not pay to see a math off." Nearly everybody who ever attended college has a warm place in their heart for the old scarlet and silver, or blue and gold, or whatever the school colors may have been. Sports allows the alumnus of long ago to stay active in their school's activities if only tangentially. Rumor has it, for example, that there are more California judges from USC than any other school. Hmmmm, I wonder if that is why OJ.... but that's another story.

So Hail to the Victors, On Wisconsin, dot the i in Ohio, and ride the Oklahoma wagon celebrate your band effecting the outcome of the game. A little blogging music maestro.... How about "Be True to Your School."

Dr. Forgot