Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?
Deny, Deny, Deny: Add another quote to those that will live in infamy. Bill Clinton’s, “I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky,” Senator Larry Craig’s “I am not gay,” Tom Delay’s smiley face picture when being booked, Cindy McCain’s “It is an old family recipe,” Kwame Kilpatrick, “What cell phone records?” Now we have John Edwards on tape being asked about an alleged affair and responding, “I don’t respond to those types of lies.” Why is it that Southerners are always more fun to discover scandals about? Maybe it is that Southerners seem so more intense in their beliefs that when they stumble (the preacher who got caught then with tears rolling down his cheeks cried “I have sinned”) we watch more closely.
Let’s see if we can list a dozen or so sex scandals among recent politicians: Rep. Vito Fosella, NY, had a “love child” out of wedlock, NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer bought a hooker for more than what most people put down on a new car, FL Rep Mark Foley sent sex text messages to underage boys, CA Rep. Duke Cunningham used hookers paid for by a defense contractor, LA Sen. David Vitter was a regular at a whorehouse, Deputy Secretary of State Randall Tobias booked his hookers with the “D.C. Madam,” NJ Gov James McGreevy allegedly sexually harassed his gay lover, ID Sen. Larry Craig toe tapped his gay intentions to an undercover cop, Spokane Mayor James West got caught up in a gay porn internet service, LA Rep Bob Livingston bragged to his colleagues about straying from his marriage while he was prosecuting Bill Clinton for the same behavior, IL Rep Daniel Crane admitted to turning over a couple of underage female pages. And that, my friends, is today’s “Dirty Dozen.”
That’s the night that the lights went out in Georgia: The troops are burning and looting all over Georgia. But this time it is not General William Tecumseh Sherman doing the invading, and it is not the great state of Georgia that is being overrun. Instead the troops of Russians are roamin’ all over Georgia in an invasion the likes of which have not been seen for some time. Seems that a portion of the Caucasus region of South Ossetia is in dispute. I’m not sure if the invaders are White Russians or Red Russians but the troops are fighting in the Black Sea Region and the invasion is making the Caucasians blue.
Conservative driver claims to be full of hot air: The energy crisis is real. There just don’t seem to be that many dinosaurs dying to keep fossil fuel operating our cars forever. Some creative solutions have been put forward including solar energy to heat water, wind power to generate electricity, hybrid cars that run on a little gas and a lot of electricity, total electric Teslas, and even cars that run on garbage. But the prize has to be the recent announcement of a car that runs on air. No, not wind power, but compressed air. And it claims to get 106 miles per gallon. Imagine being able to pull into an “air station” and say “fill ‘er up.” Better yet, think of all the late night jokes about mothers-in-law whose hot air helps keep their loving son-in-law’s car operating at peak efficiency. Some say genius is the ability to look at something and see something else. The idea for a car that runs on air uses the same principle as a steam engine. Only instead of steam, it uses compressed air! The six-seater reportedly can reach 90 mph and is anything but a blowhard with a range of 800 miles. This puts a whole new meaning to air conditioning your car.
For once the naked truth from a conservative: Glen Beck is not one of our favorite pundits. The admitted recovering alcoholic and rodeo clown (we’re not sure if he’s fully recovered from being a rodeo clown) often is the poster boy for the silly season. But our views are always open to listening to comments out of both sides of a pundits mouth so we sat up and took notice of his latest proposal. Beck suggests that we all drive naked to reduce the weight of our cars so we won’t have to drill for new oil. We think he might, uh, have something there. In fairness, he agrees that in addition to buffing it we should follow Senator Obama’s advice and check the air in our tires and tune up our engines. But I don’t think Glen has ever lived in the desert. Getting into a car whose interior temp exceeds 160 degrees is bad enough if you’re wearing shorts. Trying it naked could have long term effects on population growth. On the other hand, perhaps we should require the Dirty Dozen listed above to drive naked in the desert. I know, not a pretty sight but it sure might keep them on the straight and narrow.
Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth: It looks like the preacher’s wife might be left out of the will. The wife of evangelical pastor Joel Osteen was at 30,000 feet when instead of singing “Nearer my God to thee,” she decided to become Daniel in the lion’s den. Apparently a drop of water, or maybe it was wine, was on the seat of her first class lounge chair when cabin attendants did not move with miracle speed to remove it. Mrs. Osteen wept and wailed and gnashed her teeth as well as attempting to make her way into the cockpit to report the indiscretion to the head man (No, not THAT Head man, but plane’s pilot). Her behavior earned Queen Victoria Osteen a free pass off the plane. Attendant Sharon Brown placed her hand on the Bible and swore out a complaint against Osteen. Besides hitting Mrs. Osteen in the collection plate with a settlement, some cabin attendants hope that in the future it will be easier for her to fit through the eye of a needle rather than board another Continental flight.
Back seat drivers yet to be named: Finally, we have done extensive research on the possible candidates for the vice presidency and our cracked team of researchers has advised us who will definitely NOT occupy the veep seat. On the Republican side we can say that Cindy McCain look alike Paris Hilton is definitely out of consideration. On the Demo side, we can rule out, with 98% accuracy the selection of John Edwards.
A little blogging music Maestro... “A Change is Gonna’ Come” by the late Sam Cooke.
Dr. Forgot
See me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/
Showing posts with label Energy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Energy. Show all posts
Friday, August 8, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Dead Dinosours Are Nearly Gone
A Camel is a Horse Designed by a Committee
From American Camels to Solar Power: What is a camel? If you are of ”a certain age” you might remember the cigarette ad that boasted, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel.” If you are a fan of the late poet Ogden Nash you might remember his poem about a dromedary (an Arabian camel). If you are a U.S. history buff you might remember that for several years before the Civil War the U.S. Army experimented with the camel as a beast of burden in the desert southwest. A pyramid-shaped gravestone in Quartzite, AZ marks the grave of Syrian camel tender Hadji Ali (given the American name Hi Jolly). Or you might have read a recent Tom Friedman column in which he remarked that a certain Agassi fellow could “…sell camels to Saudi Arabia.”
An Agassi who is not the Famous Tennis Star: When most Americans hear the name Agassi they think of perhaps the greatest tennis player in the world. Some know Andre Agassi as an entrepreneur and community servant who has underwritten Boys and Girls Clubs and the Agassi College Preparatory Academy in Las Vegas. But recently another Agassi has come on the scene who knows a thing or two about the desert and entrepreneurship. Shai Agassi writes a blog about alternative energy called, “The Long Tailpipe – Shai Agassi’s Blog.” http://shaiagassi.typepad.com. This Agassi is an Israeli whiz kid and software exec who is keenly interested in alternative energy. In particular, he has a plan to free his country, and by extrapolation the world, from its addiction to cars driven by oil.
America the Bedraggled: Our president has been lampooned, been the butt of jokes, and mumbled, jumbled, and stumbled over words. But he made one comment that is profound and true – “we are a nation addicted to oil.” And regarding oil, like beachfront property, “they ain’t making it anymore.” Still, we sit in our addictive stupor. Like so many winos lying on a cold concrete sidewalk hoping that some passerby will be kind and generous enough to drop a bit of change into our upturned hat, we anxiously await our next fix. Our politicians take millions in PAC money from the record profit oil companies and figuratively inject the dollar-filled syringes into their needle-track arms. Oil company hopefuls dig like miners in a played-out mine hoping to find that next mother lode of oil. But sooner or later, unlike the sun-drenched poppy fields that supply renewable energy for heroin, oil reserves are finite in supply because our dinosaurs of today are not dying to create more tar pits.
A Young Man With a Dream: If Shai Agassi is successful with his dream he will provide the American beasts of burden the ability to survive on renewable energy as do their four-legged cousins of the Middle Eastern deserts. An irony is that if successful, Israel might well become the major energy producer in the Middles East and the world. Agassi’s plan is to provide cars that run on renewable energy – battery powered by electricity from sun, wind, or water sources. All electric and hybrid electric cars are not new. Toyota offers the Prius. Most other automakers offer some sort of electric hybrid. The Tesla is an electric sportscar that has caused many heads to turn. But to the product, Agassi has offered a networking idea. Can’t imagine such an animal? Think electric cars on a cell phone format – an AT&T cellular/Hertz Rent-a-car hybrid model if you will. Buy or lease a phone (electric car) from a provider, recharge the battery at home, and pay the provider for the minutes (miles) used. Drop by a neighborhood garage or call AAA to replace the battery if it dies. Not quite a seamless analogy? Of course not! If it were, it would already be in place. But it takes visionaries like Tom Freidman to recognize possibilities and geniuses like Shai Agassi make it happen. Still too Star Wars for you? It is a good thing William Hewlett and David Packard (founders of Hewlett Packard), Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, and Eli Whitney, didn’t feel that way.
Earth, Wind, and Fire: For the past 100 years or so the civilized world has sucked resources out of the earth to advance technology. Black gold has sustained not only the internal combustion engine but hundreds of other items such as plastics which are also petroleum based. Other resources that are renewable such as wind and fire (solar energy) have not yet been developed by man’s ingenuity. One hundred years ago it was not necessary to develop other resources. Today it is a good idea to do so. Tomorrow it will be a necessity.
A little blogging music Maestro... “Rearview Mirror” by Pearl Jam
Dr. Forgot
See me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/
From American Camels to Solar Power: What is a camel? If you are of ”a certain age” you might remember the cigarette ad that boasted, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel.” If you are a fan of the late poet Ogden Nash you might remember his poem about a dromedary (an Arabian camel). If you are a U.S. history buff you might remember that for several years before the Civil War the U.S. Army experimented with the camel as a beast of burden in the desert southwest. A pyramid-shaped gravestone in Quartzite, AZ marks the grave of Syrian camel tender Hadji Ali (given the American name Hi Jolly). Or you might have read a recent Tom Friedman column in which he remarked that a certain Agassi fellow could “…sell camels to Saudi Arabia.”
An Agassi who is not the Famous Tennis Star: When most Americans hear the name Agassi they think of perhaps the greatest tennis player in the world. Some know Andre Agassi as an entrepreneur and community servant who has underwritten Boys and Girls Clubs and the Agassi College Preparatory Academy in Las Vegas. But recently another Agassi has come on the scene who knows a thing or two about the desert and entrepreneurship. Shai Agassi writes a blog about alternative energy called, “The Long Tailpipe – Shai Agassi’s Blog.” http://shaiagassi.typepad.com. This Agassi is an Israeli whiz kid and software exec who is keenly interested in alternative energy. In particular, he has a plan to free his country, and by extrapolation the world, from its addiction to cars driven by oil.
America the Bedraggled: Our president has been lampooned, been the butt of jokes, and mumbled, jumbled, and stumbled over words. But he made one comment that is profound and true – “we are a nation addicted to oil.” And regarding oil, like beachfront property, “they ain’t making it anymore.” Still, we sit in our addictive stupor. Like so many winos lying on a cold concrete sidewalk hoping that some passerby will be kind and generous enough to drop a bit of change into our upturned hat, we anxiously await our next fix. Our politicians take millions in PAC money from the record profit oil companies and figuratively inject the dollar-filled syringes into their needle-track arms. Oil company hopefuls dig like miners in a played-out mine hoping to find that next mother lode of oil. But sooner or later, unlike the sun-drenched poppy fields that supply renewable energy for heroin, oil reserves are finite in supply because our dinosaurs of today are not dying to create more tar pits.
A Young Man With a Dream: If Shai Agassi is successful with his dream he will provide the American beasts of burden the ability to survive on renewable energy as do their four-legged cousins of the Middle Eastern deserts. An irony is that if successful, Israel might well become the major energy producer in the Middles East and the world. Agassi’s plan is to provide cars that run on renewable energy – battery powered by electricity from sun, wind, or water sources. All electric and hybrid electric cars are not new. Toyota offers the Prius. Most other automakers offer some sort of electric hybrid. The Tesla is an electric sportscar that has caused many heads to turn. But to the product, Agassi has offered a networking idea. Can’t imagine such an animal? Think electric cars on a cell phone format – an AT&T cellular/Hertz Rent-a-car hybrid model if you will. Buy or lease a phone (electric car) from a provider, recharge the battery at home, and pay the provider for the minutes (miles) used. Drop by a neighborhood garage or call AAA to replace the battery if it dies. Not quite a seamless analogy? Of course not! If it were, it would already be in place. But it takes visionaries like Tom Freidman to recognize possibilities and geniuses like Shai Agassi make it happen. Still too Star Wars for you? It is a good thing William Hewlett and David Packard (founders of Hewlett Packard), Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, and Eli Whitney, didn’t feel that way.
Earth, Wind, and Fire: For the past 100 years or so the civilized world has sucked resources out of the earth to advance technology. Black gold has sustained not only the internal combustion engine but hundreds of other items such as plastics which are also petroleum based. Other resources that are renewable such as wind and fire (solar energy) have not yet been developed by man’s ingenuity. One hundred years ago it was not necessary to develop other resources. Today it is a good idea to do so. Tomorrow it will be a necessity.
A little blogging music Maestro... “Rearview Mirror” by Pearl Jam
Dr. Forgot
See me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/
Monday, June 9, 2008
This Oil Ain't Olay
Too much driving gives me gas
If we don’t laugh about it, we’ll cry: We may be first in war, first in peace and first in the hearts of our countrymen, but we are not first in the price of a gallon of gas. ‘Tis true that over the weekend gasoline topped an average of more than $ 4.00. Our brothers and sisters on the left coast are quaking over $ 5.00+ per gallon in some areas and that makes a bummer out of owning a Hummer.
The Good Old Days were more old than good: Sure, despite my pre-Alzheimer’s condition, which began at age 2, I can remember the 1950s and 60s when gas was two-bits (that’s 25 cents for you purists) per gallon and less. Cars were advertised as being longer, lower, and wider. In 1965 I bought a brand new Pontiac Bonneville with a “turnpike tank” that held 27.5 gallons of gas and today would cost over $ 120 to fill. In ’65, while driving across the plains of Kansas on a long lonely stretch of four lane highway I was stopped for doing 110 in an 80 mph zone. I was young. Speed was exhilarating. And gas was less than 20 cents per gallon in St. Joseph, MO. It mattered not that when you pressed the pedal to the metal the speedometer seemed to race with the gas gauge.
Round One ends in the 1970s: To have lived through that era was to have lifelong pleasant memories. Young and stupid is the best way to have enjoyed our country from coast to coast and border to border including the shores of Hawaii. But the gas crunch of the late ‘70s punctured our cheap, gas-Happy Days and slapped us into the reality of long lines and high gas prices (up to $ 1.00 per gallon and $ 39 per barrel oil). Gas could only be purchased on even or odd days, congress imposed the ”double nickel” (55 mph) speed limit, and Toyota began its climb into America’s garages. Gas mileage was posted on new car windows – except for pickup trucks.
How soon we forget – or accept: We did conserve as a nation. Of course we blamed the oil crisis on the administration and President Jimmy Carter had the bad lick to be a one-term whipping boy. But the memories began to fade. First mini-vans were introduced, then the big clumsy awkward Suburban was given soft appointments and became the darling of the SUV generation, and finally, pickup trucks, once the butt of jokes, became the number one seller in the U.S.A. and stayed there for years. Conservation evaporated like gas fumes.
Back to the future: With gas passing $ 4 per gallon some say, “Sure, but it is more than double that in Europe.” But many others are rushing to dump their SUVs for smaller, more efficient cars and gas/electric hybrids. Americans are unique in trading in their old cars for new ones. We are also trading one problem for another. Batteries from the one million hybrids currently on the road plus the millions more that will be eventually, need to be disposed of. Lead acid and nickel cadmium are poison to the environment. Although low gas prices are Gone With The Wind I’m sure most of us will take the Scarlett O’Hara position of “I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
A little blogging music Maestro... “All I Need is a Miracle,” by Mike and the Mechanics.
Dr. Forgot
If we don’t laugh about it, we’ll cry: We may be first in war, first in peace and first in the hearts of our countrymen, but we are not first in the price of a gallon of gas. ‘Tis true that over the weekend gasoline topped an average of more than $ 4.00. Our brothers and sisters on the left coast are quaking over $ 5.00+ per gallon in some areas and that makes a bummer out of owning a Hummer.
The Good Old Days were more old than good: Sure, despite my pre-Alzheimer’s condition, which began at age 2, I can remember the 1950s and 60s when gas was two-bits (that’s 25 cents for you purists) per gallon and less. Cars were advertised as being longer, lower, and wider. In 1965 I bought a brand new Pontiac Bonneville with a “turnpike tank” that held 27.5 gallons of gas and today would cost over $ 120 to fill. In ’65, while driving across the plains of Kansas on a long lonely stretch of four lane highway I was stopped for doing 110 in an 80 mph zone. I was young. Speed was exhilarating. And gas was less than 20 cents per gallon in St. Joseph, MO. It mattered not that when you pressed the pedal to the metal the speedometer seemed to race with the gas gauge.
Round One ends in the 1970s: To have lived through that era was to have lifelong pleasant memories. Young and stupid is the best way to have enjoyed our country from coast to coast and border to border including the shores of Hawaii. But the gas crunch of the late ‘70s punctured our cheap, gas-Happy Days and slapped us into the reality of long lines and high gas prices (up to $ 1.00 per gallon and $ 39 per barrel oil). Gas could only be purchased on even or odd days, congress imposed the ”double nickel” (55 mph) speed limit, and Toyota began its climb into America’s garages. Gas mileage was posted on new car windows – except for pickup trucks.
How soon we forget – or accept: We did conserve as a nation. Of course we blamed the oil crisis on the administration and President Jimmy Carter had the bad lick to be a one-term whipping boy. But the memories began to fade. First mini-vans were introduced, then the big clumsy awkward Suburban was given soft appointments and became the darling of the SUV generation, and finally, pickup trucks, once the butt of jokes, became the number one seller in the U.S.A. and stayed there for years. Conservation evaporated like gas fumes.
Back to the future: With gas passing $ 4 per gallon some say, “Sure, but it is more than double that in Europe.” But many others are rushing to dump their SUVs for smaller, more efficient cars and gas/electric hybrids. Americans are unique in trading in their old cars for new ones. We are also trading one problem for another. Batteries from the one million hybrids currently on the road plus the millions more that will be eventually, need to be disposed of. Lead acid and nickel cadmium are poison to the environment. Although low gas prices are Gone With The Wind I’m sure most of us will take the Scarlett O’Hara position of “I’ll worry about that tomorrow.
A little blogging music Maestro... “All I Need is a Miracle,” by Mike and the Mechanics.
Dr. Forgot
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