Sign on Pavlov’s house: Knock - Don’t Ring Bell
Today is Mothers Day. We wish a Happy Day to all mothers, grandmothers, mothers-in-law, expectant mothers, adoptive mothers, and anybody else who qualifies even remotely for motherhood. It is too joyous a day to do anything serious so we will take our tongue, place it squarely in our cheek, and write about songs that might be dedicated to famous people or organizations. For example, our first song “Battle of New Orleans” is dedicated to F.E.M.A. “Arkansas Traveler” is dedicated to former president Bill Clinton, “Ballad of a High School Jock” is dedicated to Kobe Bryant who went directly from high school to the NBA.... I’m sure you get the idea.
“Beat the Drum Slowly” is dedicated to all the wannabe presidential candidates who by this time have been eliminated from the race, “Big Rock Candy Mountain” dedicated to all the Hollywood stars busted for drugs. “Black Was the Color of My True Loves Hair,” is dedicated to Elliot Spitzer (that narrows it down to 80% of the women in New York), Bonaparte’s Retreat” is dedicated to the writers and political pundits who have had to spin their bosses words when a gaffe was caught on tape.
“Broken Vows” is a song that we will dedicate to all politicians, but especially that group who campaigned on the platform of single term service, got elected, and are still in office three and four terms later. “Cindy, Oh Cindy,” is dedicated by Senator McCain to his wife. “The Clerk and the Millionaire” also dedicated to John and Cindy McCain from John and Teresa Kerry.
Ok, enough of the semi-serious songs titles, let’s do some of the country song titles and see how they stack up: “All I want from You is Away,” is dedicated from the Obama camp to the Clinton camp. “Billy Broke My Heart At Walgreens and I Cried All the way to Sears,” is dedicated to the blue collar workers in West Virginia, also by the Obama camp. “Drop Kick Me Jesus through the Goalposts of Life,” to Reverend Jeremiah Wright. “Feelin’ Single and Seein’ Double is dedicated to Newt Gingrich.
“Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat,” is dedicated to New York politician Vito Fossella who was recently busted for drunk driving, phoned his girlfriend for bail, and as a result it was discovered he’d fathered a baby out of wedlock with her three years ago. “Going to Hell in your Heavenly Arms” is also dedicated to Elliot Spitzer. And finally, a song dedicated to all politicians everywhere who claim to start out with a high class campaign and end up slinging mud, “How did you Get So Ugly Overnight?”
A little blogging music Maestro... “Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” by B. J. Thomas.
Dr. Forgot
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Good News/Bad News
It’s Nice to be Important but more Important to be Nice
The Campaign Trudges Onward: A couple of characteristics have arisen during this presidential campaign which have shown some stark differences among the three candidates. The Senator from Arizona he presented a grandfatherly persona with a streak of orneriness. But he has at times unleashed vile comments toward his wife, his underlings, and even members of the press. Ok, maybe some of the members of the press deserved it. The Senator from New York has become a chameleon. She found her voice after one primary (after boasting of twelve years of serving her country she didn’t have a voice?), cried in an interview (that was a killer for Geraldine Ferraro but worked for Lady C.), belted down a shot and a beer, picked up her Jed Clampett gun, and made the NASCAR circuit. During that time she continued to squirt her same-party opponent with pepper-spray of vitriol. The Senator from Illinois seems to be running for Sainthood. His approach is to find logic and common ground rather than to wield a sword. While the Arizona senator takes a nap it seems like one or the other candidates has Karl Rove for a campaign manager and the other has Ghandi.
Democracy allows you to vote for who you like the least: One consequence of American Democracy is that each side tars the other side’s candidate with slime and mud. Karl Rove did not invent the technique, though he makes a good target to blame. The Republicans in the name of James Blaine in the 1800s used inflammatory comments alleging that candidate Grover Cleveland had fathered a son out of wedlock. The cry was, “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa? Gone to the White House, ho, ha, ha.” Cleveland struck back with a lesser known quote, “James G. Blaine, The Continental Liar from the State of Maine.” That time the Repbs won the poetry contest but the Dems won the election.
Those Texans Do Everything Big: A Kentuckian was boasting to a Texan that there was enough gold in Fort Knox to build a fence around the entire state of Texas three feet high. The Texan responded, “Y’all go ahead and build yer fence and if we like it we’ll buy it.” The sinkhole in Texas is now over 250 feet deep and more than three football fields long! Maybe the entire state of Texas will sink in, or maybe it will swallow the polygamy compound. Things are big in Texas. But as the Alaskans were so proud of saying when they achieved statehood, “Little old Texas, we still love ya.”
From the Outhouse to the Penthouse: Carl Hunter was a good old boy but had been down on his luck since Katrina hit his home town. A construction worker, he lost his two-home investment to the floodwaters. He was busted, disgusted, his bank account encrusted. His wife asked him to run to the local convenience store for a quart of overpriced milk. He did and used the change to buy a Powerball lottery ticket. Good decision. Kaching! The ticket was worth $ 97 million. I just love happy endings.
A little blogging music Maestro... “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins.
Dr. Forgot
The Campaign Trudges Onward: A couple of characteristics have arisen during this presidential campaign which have shown some stark differences among the three candidates. The Senator from Arizona he presented a grandfatherly persona with a streak of orneriness. But he has at times unleashed vile comments toward his wife, his underlings, and even members of the press. Ok, maybe some of the members of the press deserved it. The Senator from New York has become a chameleon. She found her voice after one primary (after boasting of twelve years of serving her country she didn’t have a voice?), cried in an interview (that was a killer for Geraldine Ferraro but worked for Lady C.), belted down a shot and a beer, picked up her Jed Clampett gun, and made the NASCAR circuit. During that time she continued to squirt her same-party opponent with pepper-spray of vitriol. The Senator from Illinois seems to be running for Sainthood. His approach is to find logic and common ground rather than to wield a sword. While the Arizona senator takes a nap it seems like one or the other candidates has Karl Rove for a campaign manager and the other has Ghandi.
Democracy allows you to vote for who you like the least: One consequence of American Democracy is that each side tars the other side’s candidate with slime and mud. Karl Rove did not invent the technique, though he makes a good target to blame. The Republicans in the name of James Blaine in the 1800s used inflammatory comments alleging that candidate Grover Cleveland had fathered a son out of wedlock. The cry was, “Ma, Ma, where’s my Pa? Gone to the White House, ho, ha, ha.” Cleveland struck back with a lesser known quote, “James G. Blaine, The Continental Liar from the State of Maine.” That time the Repbs won the poetry contest but the Dems won the election.
Those Texans Do Everything Big: A Kentuckian was boasting to a Texan that there was enough gold in Fort Knox to build a fence around the entire state of Texas three feet high. The Texan responded, “Y’all go ahead and build yer fence and if we like it we’ll buy it.” The sinkhole in Texas is now over 250 feet deep and more than three football fields long! Maybe the entire state of Texas will sink in, or maybe it will swallow the polygamy compound. Things are big in Texas. But as the Alaskans were so proud of saying when they achieved statehood, “Little old Texas, we still love ya.”
From the Outhouse to the Penthouse: Carl Hunter was a good old boy but had been down on his luck since Katrina hit his home town. A construction worker, he lost his two-home investment to the floodwaters. He was busted, disgusted, his bank account encrusted. His wife asked him to run to the local convenience store for a quart of overpriced milk. He did and used the change to buy a Powerball lottery ticket. Good decision. Kaching! The ticket was worth $ 97 million. I just love happy endings.
A little blogging music Maestro... “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins.
Dr. Forgot
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Hillobama Follies Continue
Prayer travels via knee-mail
Bruised, Battered and Begging for Bread: This time last year the Democrats were walking through (yawn) the candidate selection process before the coronation of the Queen of the Hill. Governor Richardson of New Mexico (some asked, “Don’t you have to be American to run?”), Dennis Kuku-Kucinich, Joe Bye-bye Biden, John “ya-all” Edwards, and a host of others made symbolic appearances, but everybody knew the Hillary-Billaries were destined to return to their old home at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. What a difference a year makes. Hillary’s “victory” speech in Indiana was a plea for donations to offset the Clinton piggy bank that she pilfered to the tune of $ 10 million plus.
How could it come to this? Senator Obama accuses Hillary of being part of the same old Washington good old boy, uh, person, network. Maybe, maybe not, but she sure seemed to take her Primary strategy from the George W. Bush Iraq playbook. She underestimated her enemy, had poor planning, declared “Mission Accomplished” multiple times when the campaign was not even close to being over, and clearly has no exit strategy. She even knocked off the patented “Yes We Can” slogan from the Obama camp and changed it to “Yes We Will.” We aren’t sure if she let her “second” in command, namely Bill, talk her into the run or if it is something she’d planned despite her denials over the past eight years.
Three Miles Away From Victory: The Vice President’s residence is located three miles from the White House. Could Barack be talked into bringing Hillary onto his ticket then plan to isolate her on the Three Mile (from the W.H.) Island? Will President Obama apply for a Restraining Order to keep Bill away from the Big House and its interns? Will Chelsea be rewarded for her campaigning with a wedding at “Number One Observatory Circle,” the official address of VEEP-ville? Possibilities are endless.
Let’s Consider the Possibilities: The United States of America will have a new president after next fall’s election, of that you can be sure. Question is, will the new president be one who leaves the toilet seat up or down? Will the end of each workday find the president brushing with Pepsodent or soaking in Polident? Will breakfast include pineapples and coconuts or grits and cornbread? Will the Oval Office be decorated with Orchids and leis of tuberoses or prickley pears and barrel cactus? Will we be governed by the exuberance of youth, Mother Earth, or Father Time? Finally, regarding the attire of the new president, no matter who wins the uniform of the day will be a pant suit.
Oh, those Wacky Floridians: From the state that brought you the hanging chad, rules breaking that cost their delegates convention seating, a sexy biker teacher who had sex with her students, and another who was busted three times for sex with students on more than 20 occasions. The latest story is of the science teacher who had kids in a trance with a magic trick that had a toothpick disappear and reappear. He was fired for wizardry! Holy Harry Potter!
A little blogging music Maestro... an oldie by the Platters, “Could This be Magic?”
Dr. Forgot
Bruised, Battered and Begging for Bread: This time last year the Democrats were walking through (yawn) the candidate selection process before the coronation of the Queen of the Hill. Governor Richardson of New Mexico (some asked, “Don’t you have to be American to run?”), Dennis Kuku-Kucinich, Joe Bye-bye Biden, John “ya-all” Edwards, and a host of others made symbolic appearances, but everybody knew the Hillary-Billaries were destined to return to their old home at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. What a difference a year makes. Hillary’s “victory” speech in Indiana was a plea for donations to offset the Clinton piggy bank that she pilfered to the tune of $ 10 million plus.
How could it come to this? Senator Obama accuses Hillary of being part of the same old Washington good old boy, uh, person, network. Maybe, maybe not, but she sure seemed to take her Primary strategy from the George W. Bush Iraq playbook. She underestimated her enemy, had poor planning, declared “Mission Accomplished” multiple times when the campaign was not even close to being over, and clearly has no exit strategy. She even knocked off the patented “Yes We Can” slogan from the Obama camp and changed it to “Yes We Will.” We aren’t sure if she let her “second” in command, namely Bill, talk her into the run or if it is something she’d planned despite her denials over the past eight years.
Three Miles Away From Victory: The Vice President’s residence is located three miles from the White House. Could Barack be talked into bringing Hillary onto his ticket then plan to isolate her on the Three Mile (from the W.H.) Island? Will President Obama apply for a Restraining Order to keep Bill away from the Big House and its interns? Will Chelsea be rewarded for her campaigning with a wedding at “Number One Observatory Circle,” the official address of VEEP-ville? Possibilities are endless.
Let’s Consider the Possibilities: The United States of America will have a new president after next fall’s election, of that you can be sure. Question is, will the new president be one who leaves the toilet seat up or down? Will the end of each workday find the president brushing with Pepsodent or soaking in Polident? Will breakfast include pineapples and coconuts or grits and cornbread? Will the Oval Office be decorated with Orchids and leis of tuberoses or prickley pears and barrel cactus? Will we be governed by the exuberance of youth, Mother Earth, or Father Time? Finally, regarding the attire of the new president, no matter who wins the uniform of the day will be a pant suit.
Oh, those Wacky Floridians: From the state that brought you the hanging chad, rules breaking that cost their delegates convention seating, a sexy biker teacher who had sex with her students, and another who was busted three times for sex with students on more than 20 occasions. The latest story is of the science teacher who had kids in a trance with a magic trick that had a toothpick disappear and reappear. He was fired for wizardry! Holy Harry Potter!
A little blogging music Maestro... an oldie by the Platters, “Could This be Magic?”
Dr. Forgot
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Election Day Tuesday Revisited
Despite the High Cost of Living, It Remains Popular
Let the Games Begin: Some might say the games that have been played out for months on the political stage are about over. The Hillary, Billary, Chellary team has competed valiantly say the pundits but it is time to put the White House lust to bed. No pun intended, Bill. But others say the games are just beginning. Consider the possibilities some pundits are putting forth, and we just could not resist considering with other possibilities.
Hillary as Vice President? Bill as President of Vice? Assuming that last night’s victory in Upper Carolina and his virtual victory in another of the three “I” states, Ba-Rocky appears to have earned a TKO in round 17 of the 21 round match. Dozens of pundits have written the obituary for the Hill-climbing Hillary’s Run for the Rose Garden. Others have suggested that she still has a chance to reach Pennsylvania Avenue as the VEEP. To her credit as a campaigner, Senator C. could stand for Chameleon based on the number of times she’s re-invented herself during the run. Is her camp ready to spin a new chant of, “We’re #2?”
Three Miles Away From Victory: The Vice President’s residence is located three miles from the White House. Could Barack be talked into bringing Hillary onto his ticket then plan to isolate her on the Three Mile (from the W.H.) Island? Will President Obama apply for a Restraining Order to keep Bill away from the Big House and its interns? Will Chelsea be rewarded for her campaigning with a wedding at “Number One Observatory Circle,” the official address of VEEP-ville? Possibilities are endless.
It’s The Economy, Stupid: During Hillary’s run as the nomination nemesis she has been able to reinvent herself for each state. In Pennsylvania her Annie Oakley persona was outdone only by her shot-and-a-beer efforts at a local bar. She changed roles so often that when she played the pauper it stuck. The Clinton campaign is reportedly hemorrhaging money. Her Indiana “Victory” speech was a plea for funds. The alleged $ 10 million in donations after her PA victory have yet to be established and it appears she stripped Chelsea’s inheritance to loan herself huge chunks of cash. Perhaps this is a way of yet reinventing herself as an average American up to her pant-suited hips in debt.
Louisiana Purchase or Seward’s Folly? The Louisiana Purchase was booed as excessively expensive. The purchase of Alaska was reviled by the public when Secretary of State William Seward purchased the icebox. Both turned out to be good deals. Some pundits believe that Senator Clinton will sell her constituency of old white women to Senator Obama’s large purse for the price of her war debt and the number two seat a heartbeat away from the presidency. Will he accept? Stay tuned.
A little blogging music Maestro... Abba’s “Winner Takes it All.”
Dr. Forgot
Let the Games Begin: Some might say the games that have been played out for months on the political stage are about over. The Hillary, Billary, Chellary team has competed valiantly say the pundits but it is time to put the White House lust to bed. No pun intended, Bill. But others say the games are just beginning. Consider the possibilities some pundits are putting forth, and we just could not resist considering with other possibilities.
Hillary as Vice President? Bill as President of Vice? Assuming that last night’s victory in Upper Carolina and his virtual victory in another of the three “I” states, Ba-Rocky appears to have earned a TKO in round 17 of the 21 round match. Dozens of pundits have written the obituary for the Hill-climbing Hillary’s Run for the Rose Garden. Others have suggested that she still has a chance to reach Pennsylvania Avenue as the VEEP. To her credit as a campaigner, Senator C. could stand for Chameleon based on the number of times she’s re-invented herself during the run. Is her camp ready to spin a new chant of, “We’re #2?”
Three Miles Away From Victory: The Vice President’s residence is located three miles from the White House. Could Barack be talked into bringing Hillary onto his ticket then plan to isolate her on the Three Mile (from the W.H.) Island? Will President Obama apply for a Restraining Order to keep Bill away from the Big House and its interns? Will Chelsea be rewarded for her campaigning with a wedding at “Number One Observatory Circle,” the official address of VEEP-ville? Possibilities are endless.
It’s The Economy, Stupid: During Hillary’s run as the nomination nemesis she has been able to reinvent herself for each state. In Pennsylvania her Annie Oakley persona was outdone only by her shot-and-a-beer efforts at a local bar. She changed roles so often that when she played the pauper it stuck. The Clinton campaign is reportedly hemorrhaging money. Her Indiana “Victory” speech was a plea for funds. The alleged $ 10 million in donations after her PA victory have yet to be established and it appears she stripped Chelsea’s inheritance to loan herself huge chunks of cash. Perhaps this is a way of yet reinventing herself as an average American up to her pant-suited hips in debt.
Louisiana Purchase or Seward’s Folly? The Louisiana Purchase was booed as excessively expensive. The purchase of Alaska was reviled by the public when Secretary of State William Seward purchased the icebox. Both turned out to be good deals. Some pundits believe that Senator Clinton will sell her constituency of old white women to Senator Obama’s large purse for the price of her war debt and the number two seat a heartbeat away from the presidency. Will he accept? Stay tuned.
A little blogging music Maestro... Abba’s “Winner Takes it All.”
Dr. Forgot
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Election Day Tuesday
Better a Diamond With a Flaw Than a Pebble Without
“I’m not perfect. You know that by now.” Such were the words of Senator Obama in his speech to the North Carolina delegation as he stood before them with a double digit lead over Senator Clinton. What should have been a one day story about a rogue preacher was turned into a several week story by the media. Senator Clinton pursued the issue with the fervor of an attack dog losing a fight. And she did – lose the fight that is, particularly on this day.
Bill knows campaigning: Former President Bill Clinton has been in many fights during his political career, losing a few and winning many. He’s learned all the tricks needed to win an election: define your opponent, move the goalposts, smear your opponent, pander with ghost issues, and pound the pavement. He’s helped his wife’s campaign do all of those, especially pounding the pavement in North Carolina. He visited every little village and used every bit of charm on his wife’s behalf, but Senator Obama won with a double digit victory (at this writing the difference is about 15%).
Don’t forget Indiana: In a state that tossed out its beloved coach Bobby Knight, Senator Clinton’s camp was predicting a clear victory. And clearly it appeared that she would trounce Senator Obama with early returns showing her ahead by up to 30 points. As the night grew darker and votes continued to roll in the lead continued to shrink; 25% then 20%, 15% 10% and then the lead slipped below double digits. With less than 80% of the votes in the lead dropped to 3% then hovered around 4% where it stands at this writing. For some reason the greater Chicago area of Indiana has not reported so it is possible that the lead may shrink further or even disappear.
Obama Sounding Presidential in N. Carolina: Most pundits who listened to the Obama victory speech in North Carolina seem to agree that the nomination monkey is off his back and his comments made him sound more like a presidential candidate than one who is trying to wrap up the nomination. But don’t count the Clinton’s out. They know how to campaign and garner support. Whether tactics include tossing out more ghost issues, rules changes, or negative advertising (does anybody really think President Obama would not answer the White House phone at 3 a.m.?), this game is not over.
Other News – Far Out, Dude: The Del Mar Racetrack advertises its location as, “Where the Surf meets the Turf.” Twenty miles south of Del Mar is San Diego State University, that laid back school where Joe Cool attends in shorts and shades. No wonder the student body seems so mellow. 100 folks including a Criminal Justice major and a Homeland Security major were busted for more than a couple of lids of cannabis sativa (otherwise known as “wacky tobaccy”). Three quarters of the bustees were students. Among items confiscated were several kilos of cocaine and several guns. They shoot sharks, don’t they?
A little blogging music Maestro... Afroman’s “Because I got High.”
Dr. Forgot
“I’m not perfect. You know that by now.” Such were the words of Senator Obama in his speech to the North Carolina delegation as he stood before them with a double digit lead over Senator Clinton. What should have been a one day story about a rogue preacher was turned into a several week story by the media. Senator Clinton pursued the issue with the fervor of an attack dog losing a fight. And she did – lose the fight that is, particularly on this day.
Bill knows campaigning: Former President Bill Clinton has been in many fights during his political career, losing a few and winning many. He’s learned all the tricks needed to win an election: define your opponent, move the goalposts, smear your opponent, pander with ghost issues, and pound the pavement. He’s helped his wife’s campaign do all of those, especially pounding the pavement in North Carolina. He visited every little village and used every bit of charm on his wife’s behalf, but Senator Obama won with a double digit victory (at this writing the difference is about 15%).
Don’t forget Indiana: In a state that tossed out its beloved coach Bobby Knight, Senator Clinton’s camp was predicting a clear victory. And clearly it appeared that she would trounce Senator Obama with early returns showing her ahead by up to 30 points. As the night grew darker and votes continued to roll in the lead continued to shrink; 25% then 20%, 15% 10% and then the lead slipped below double digits. With less than 80% of the votes in the lead dropped to 3% then hovered around 4% where it stands at this writing. For some reason the greater Chicago area of Indiana has not reported so it is possible that the lead may shrink further or even disappear.
Obama Sounding Presidential in N. Carolina: Most pundits who listened to the Obama victory speech in North Carolina seem to agree that the nomination monkey is off his back and his comments made him sound more like a presidential candidate than one who is trying to wrap up the nomination. But don’t count the Clinton’s out. They know how to campaign and garner support. Whether tactics include tossing out more ghost issues, rules changes, or negative advertising (does anybody really think President Obama would not answer the White House phone at 3 a.m.?), this game is not over.
Other News – Far Out, Dude: The Del Mar Racetrack advertises its location as, “Where the Surf meets the Turf.” Twenty miles south of Del Mar is San Diego State University, that laid back school where Joe Cool attends in shorts and shades. No wonder the student body seems so mellow. 100 folks including a Criminal Justice major and a Homeland Security major were busted for more than a couple of lids of cannabis sativa (otherwise known as “wacky tobaccy”). Three quarters of the bustees were students. Among items confiscated were several kilos of cocaine and several guns. They shoot sharks, don’t they?
A little blogging music Maestro... Afroman’s “Because I got High.”
Dr. Forgot
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Las Vegas Happenings
Las Vegas Weekend
Las Vegas is the only town where the cabbies tell you where to go. So this weekend I’ll be the cabbie and let you know about some of the upcoming activities in the Valley of the Dollars.
Las Vegas Uncork’d: Next week Bon Appetit magazine meets Bellagio, Caesars Palace, Hard Rock Hotel, and Wynn Las Vegas hook up for a week of pure unadulterated (burp) Vegas fare. Co-chairs for the festivities include chef Wolfgang Puck and Bon Appetit Editor-in-Chief Barbara Fairchild. Highlights of the event will include A Tale of Five Chefs Gala, brunch and cocktail smack down, the Grand Tasting, and Masters vs. Pro-Am cooking competition. More info at www.bavegasuncorked.com
Burgers and other fine cuisine: LBS, and American classic burger joint will soon join the other fine restaurants at Red Rock Casino and Resort. A planned opening this fall will feature the finest, freshest ingredients and a 101 seat restaurant with more than 40 microbrews. Local restaurateur Billy Richardson will again perform his magic. We’ll be licking our chops for this one to open. More info at Michael@braintrustlv.com.
The Higher the Top the Longer the Drop: Everybody loves records as the Guinness Record Book people have discovered. Another entry will be attempted as Jean Philippe Patisserie in Bellagio has submitted measurements of their chocolate fountain as the World’s Tallest Chocolate Fountain. The floor-to-ceiling fountain is 27 feet tall and circulates two tons of chocolate at 120 quarts per minute. The fountain is real and outdoes the fictional Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. More info at mmckiski@mgmmirage.com
Hand Over Your Chocolate and Nobody Will Get Hurt: A good way to wile away your time while thinking of chocolate is to watch the Payard Chocolate Clock at Caesars Palace. The 13-foot high timepiece displays nine different time zones and dispenses free truffles. The clock mechanisms create the six-step process in making chocolates and truffles. More info at terlitzkyr@caesarspalace.com
Las Vegas; The Meadows: Las Vegas was named for a desert oasis. Today that oasis appropriately on the grounds of the Las Vegas Valley Water District called the Springs Preserve, a 180 acre cultural and historical attraction. The ambiance of the Springs Preserve is something that might just as easily be found in Idaho or Iowa or Kansas. Every Thursday night in the Springs Cafe on the property, concerts are available sponsored by restaurateur Wolfgang Puck and a special Farmers Market will show local produce, fruits and vegetables as well as arts and crafts. More info at rwolfson@kirvindoak.com
Quit Draggin’ your Dragon: Mandalay Bay includes a Shark Reef Aquarium but do not worry about getting eaten. It is a great display that will soon include a rare Komodo Dragon on display. The huge lizard, which can grow to 200 lbs. will be among the 2,000 other animals in the Reef and could be the meanest as it has no known predators. The Shark Reef is the only aquarium of its kind in North America. More info at zanellas@mgmmirage.com
A little blogging music Maestro... I can hear the strains of Elvis singing “Viva Las Vegas.”
Dr. Forgot
Las Vegas is the only town where the cabbies tell you where to go. So this weekend I’ll be the cabbie and let you know about some of the upcoming activities in the Valley of the Dollars.
Las Vegas Uncork’d: Next week Bon Appetit magazine meets Bellagio, Caesars Palace, Hard Rock Hotel, and Wynn Las Vegas hook up for a week of pure unadulterated (burp) Vegas fare. Co-chairs for the festivities include chef Wolfgang Puck and Bon Appetit Editor-in-Chief Barbara Fairchild. Highlights of the event will include A Tale of Five Chefs Gala, brunch and cocktail smack down, the Grand Tasting, and Masters vs. Pro-Am cooking competition. More info at www.bavegasuncorked.com
Burgers and other fine cuisine: LBS, and American classic burger joint will soon join the other fine restaurants at Red Rock Casino and Resort. A planned opening this fall will feature the finest, freshest ingredients and a 101 seat restaurant with more than 40 microbrews. Local restaurateur Billy Richardson will again perform his magic. We’ll be licking our chops for this one to open. More info at Michael@braintrustlv.com.
The Higher the Top the Longer the Drop: Everybody loves records as the Guinness Record Book people have discovered. Another entry will be attempted as Jean Philippe Patisserie in Bellagio has submitted measurements of their chocolate fountain as the World’s Tallest Chocolate Fountain. The floor-to-ceiling fountain is 27 feet tall and circulates two tons of chocolate at 120 quarts per minute. The fountain is real and outdoes the fictional Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. More info at mmckiski@mgmmirage.com
Hand Over Your Chocolate and Nobody Will Get Hurt: A good way to wile away your time while thinking of chocolate is to watch the Payard Chocolate Clock at Caesars Palace. The 13-foot high timepiece displays nine different time zones and dispenses free truffles. The clock mechanisms create the six-step process in making chocolates and truffles. More info at terlitzkyr@caesarspalace.com
Las Vegas; The Meadows: Las Vegas was named for a desert oasis. Today that oasis appropriately on the grounds of the Las Vegas Valley Water District called the Springs Preserve, a 180 acre cultural and historical attraction. The ambiance of the Springs Preserve is something that might just as easily be found in Idaho or Iowa or Kansas. Every Thursday night in the Springs Cafe on the property, concerts are available sponsored by restaurateur Wolfgang Puck and a special Farmers Market will show local produce, fruits and vegetables as well as arts and crafts. More info at rwolfson@kirvindoak.com
Quit Draggin’ your Dragon: Mandalay Bay includes a Shark Reef Aquarium but do not worry about getting eaten. It is a great display that will soon include a rare Komodo Dragon on display. The huge lizard, which can grow to 200 lbs. will be among the 2,000 other animals in the Reef and could be the meanest as it has no known predators. The Shark Reef is the only aquarium of its kind in North America. More info at zanellas@mgmmirage.com
A little blogging music Maestro... I can hear the strains of Elvis singing “Viva Las Vegas.”
Dr. Forgot
Friday, May 2, 2008
Friday's Follies
Bacteria is the only culture some people have
The Presidential Dream Ticket Has Been Determined: That dream ticket that has been discussed by pundits during the nomination process has finally been identified. You heard it here first. Senator Obama came on strong. He is intelligent, charismatic, honorable, forthright, and deeply spiritual. Those qualities apparently make him a poor choice. The American public does not want a leader with such qualities. The current administration has proven that. Bumbling, stumbling, and hacking up the English language works. Power Uncle behind the throne gets it. Arrogance is a winner. But our new dream ticket has another set of gifts: arrogance for sure, pomposity, a sprinkle of mean, slanting and outright lying, unfair and imbalanced. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the Independent dream ticket: Clinton and O’Reilly.
Dang Me, Dang Me, I think I’ll take a rope and hang me: Hollywood Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey had the goods on at least two politicos. It ended both their careers. She refused to discuss who else might be listed in her little black book. She was found hanging in a shed behind her mother’s house, apparently a suicide victim. But could it have been a hit staged to look like suicide? Problem with that theory is that her customers seem to be from the party that loves conspiracy theories. No mud to throw on the other guys so we could have heard the last of this one. Or not.
She Stooped to Conquer: Hard to imagine Granny as a swinger. Although she’s no Monica Lewinsky or Gennifer Flowers, Barbara Walters admitted to Oprah that she was the other woman for several years. She, a young reporter on the make, so to speak, became the concubine of he, Senator Edward Brooke, a Republican from Massachusetts and the first African American to be popularly elected to the Senate. Walters claimed she was “infatuated.” Does the affair compare with the peccadilloes of a former president? Close, but no cigar.
Must Be All that Florida Sunshine: Rote learning is defined as doing a task over and over until it is mastered. An example is memorizing one’s times tables. Stephanie Ragusa, a 28-year-old middle school math teacher in Tampa, Florida apparently subscribes to using the rote method. She was arrested for the third time for having sex with a student. She allegedly had sex with one of the teen victims at least 20 times. He must have been a slow learner. The Hillsborough School District in Tampa is the same one that had a previous teacher-student sex scandal with blond bombshell Debra LaFave. Wonder if there is prayer in that district’s schools.
A little blogging music Maestro... Frank Sinatra singing, “Teacher’s Pet.”
Dr. Forgot
The Presidential Dream Ticket Has Been Determined: That dream ticket that has been discussed by pundits during the nomination process has finally been identified. You heard it here first. Senator Obama came on strong. He is intelligent, charismatic, honorable, forthright, and deeply spiritual. Those qualities apparently make him a poor choice. The American public does not want a leader with such qualities. The current administration has proven that. Bumbling, stumbling, and hacking up the English language works. Power Uncle behind the throne gets it. Arrogance is a winner. But our new dream ticket has another set of gifts: arrogance for sure, pomposity, a sprinkle of mean, slanting and outright lying, unfair and imbalanced. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the Independent dream ticket: Clinton and O’Reilly.
Dang Me, Dang Me, I think I’ll take a rope and hang me: Hollywood Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey had the goods on at least two politicos. It ended both their careers. She refused to discuss who else might be listed in her little black book. She was found hanging in a shed behind her mother’s house, apparently a suicide victim. But could it have been a hit staged to look like suicide? Problem with that theory is that her customers seem to be from the party that loves conspiracy theories. No mud to throw on the other guys so we could have heard the last of this one. Or not.
She Stooped to Conquer: Hard to imagine Granny as a swinger. Although she’s no Monica Lewinsky or Gennifer Flowers, Barbara Walters admitted to Oprah that she was the other woman for several years. She, a young reporter on the make, so to speak, became the concubine of he, Senator Edward Brooke, a Republican from Massachusetts and the first African American to be popularly elected to the Senate. Walters claimed she was “infatuated.” Does the affair compare with the peccadilloes of a former president? Close, but no cigar.
Must Be All that Florida Sunshine: Rote learning is defined as doing a task over and over until it is mastered. An example is memorizing one’s times tables. Stephanie Ragusa, a 28-year-old middle school math teacher in Tampa, Florida apparently subscribes to using the rote method. She was arrested for the third time for having sex with a student. She allegedly had sex with one of the teen victims at least 20 times. He must have been a slow learner. The Hillsborough School District in Tampa is the same one that had a previous teacher-student sex scandal with blond bombshell Debra LaFave. Wonder if there is prayer in that district’s schools.
A little blogging music Maestro... Frank Sinatra singing, “Teacher’s Pet.”
Dr. Forgot
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