Monday, March 10, 2008

Whores and Politicans

Politics: Poly (Many) + Ticks (Bloodsucking parasites)

May your Mayor check his Willie: The Big Apple’s serpent slithered into D.C. According to news wires, the law and order Guv of New York left Time Square to walk the plank on board the Mayflower – Hotel that is. The Loot Guv, as blind justice works, will now become the Guv. Seems that while he crusaded against bad guys doing nasty stuff by day he was a hooker booker after the sun went down. Like the song in Les Miz: “She plays a virgin in the light but needs no urgin’ in the night.”

Who’s Number one?: You’ve got to give the Clinton campaign credit. They’ve learned a lot by getting attacked in office for four years. Slick Willy helped trick with Hilly as she offered Obie-one the chance to be Obie-two. Here’s the logic: “You flunk the P{resident test so let’s put you a heartbeat away from the presidency.” Huh? Obama paused for a comma, then pointed out the ludicrousness of the suggestion. Perhaps the Clintons did not learn well enough from the marauding Rovers - the attempt to flip flopped.

The Mac flies above the flack: Several months ago everybody in the Repub party including many of his campaign workers and that crew whose politics are three miles to the right of Attila the Hun were taking part in the McCain mutiny. He was carrying his own bags, made a seat on Southwest Airlines his company plane, and pundits said the wheels had come off the Straight Talk Express. But just look at him now! Basking in the glow as a presidential nominee, he smiles and waves and holds the hand of his pretty Rodeo Queen wife. What a life!

Shaking the family tree can cause embarrassments: Ever since Alex Hailey’s book Roots hit the best seller list nearly 40 years ago genealogy came out of the Mormon closet and into the limelight. Somebody did a family background check and discovered that Obama and Vice President Lon – uh, I mean Dick Cheney were cousins. Barack admitted that the revelation caused embarrassment in his household – related to a Republican?

Speaking of the Vee Pee: Speaking of the Dickester, he leaves aboard Air Force Too in a week or so to visit Oman, Saudi Arabia, and other oil producing countries. It is said he is headed there to visit his other relatives – the Halliburtons. We’re not sure if this trip qualifies as visiting a prostitute.

Is Oregon clinic going nuts?: Our final bit of today’s blog comes from the Pacific Northwest where people quack up and Ducks play sports. The Oregon Urology Institute wants to add a little sadness to March Madness. The institute’s director suggested a vasectomy for men who want to watch the entire weekend of basketball. It will give them an excuse to sit on the couch four days to recover.

A little blogging music Maestro... Is there a musical version of “The Agony and the Ecstasy?”

Dr. Forgot

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