Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Love Nevada Style

Nevada Governor is a Gen-Xer at Heart

Snow on the Rooftop but Fire in the Furnace: Governor Jim Gibbons, that 63-year old silver hair ex-pilot and leader of men might look like your average dork, but it turns out that he has punched his way into the world of Gen Xers. He’s become a master of text messaging. While denying his chat buddy was a mistress (half way between a master and a mattress), turns out that Guv sent Luv 850 text messages in five weeks. What that means, of course, aside from the possibility of suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome, is that the Guv has become multi-lingual. Texting has its own lingo of acronyms and symbols.

Not vexed by the text: As a former pilot the Guv had to learn a second language, “We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. Four five heavy cleared for one-niner left,” and other airport talk. So perhaps it was easy to learn text talk. Like former First Lady Hillary Clinton, the Guv was awake and awaiting the 2 a.m. phone call. We have no way of knowing what they had to say to each other during those 850 text messages as the textee has quit responding to the texter, so in the interest of language enhancement we will provide a transcript of what MIGHT have been said, complete with English translations:

GUV: WRUD? (What are you doing?)
LUV: AAF AAK (As a matter of fact, asleep at the keyboard)
GUV: ICBW (It could be worse) HAU (How About You?)
LUV: ICEDI (I can’t even discuss it)
GUV: MUSM (Miss you so much)
LUV: NALOPKT (Not a lot of people know that)
GUV: OIC (Oh, I see)
LUV: HLAM (How’s Life at the Mansion?)
GUV: NSFW (Not safe for work)
LUV: PXT (Please explain that)
GUV: PRW (People are Watching
LUV: PU (that stinks)
GUV: BY&M (Between you and me) NCBT (Not crying big tears)
LUV: RU SOMY (Are you sick of me yet?)
GUV: NRN (No response necessary) CUITM (See you in the morning)
LUV: GN (Goodnight) BFF (Best friends forever)

Only The Lonely: The aggrieved wife’s lawyer alleges an affair by the pair but the Guv says ‘taint about love but being a friend to the end. Still, I have lots of friends but none that I text 850 times in five weeks – that averages more than once per hour 24/7. That does not include the calls made to the platonic friend. I’ve got to believe that the Doctor’s wife is in receipt of more correspondence from the Guv than is his chief of staff or any other member of his cabinet. One spate of six calls, including one for 35 minutes, was made during the same time period in which GG (Governor Gibbons) was working with the Legislature over a $ 4 billion shortfall for highway construction. Perhaps he was trying to determine the road conditions between Carson City and his friend’s Reno neighborhood.

Dawn, Go away back where you belong: Although she’s been Mrs. Dawn Gibbons for 22 years, the First Lady of Nevada comes home each night to an empty mansion since not-such-a Gentleman Jim decided to split for the “family” home in Reno where his cellular carrier asks, “Can you text me now?” Negotiations are currently under way for him to return to the Big House and let Dawn preside over the guest house. This is the biggest story to hit national news (People magazine did a several page story on it) since the debate over whether to pronounce our state Nevaaada or Nevahda. The perception has changed from the being the home of Comstock Lode to being in the the Laughing Stock Mode.

A little blogging music Maestro... Perhaps a good ole boy country song: “How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go Away?”

Dr. Forgot

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