Thursday, July 24, 2008

News, Views, and Ptooos

Media Take Comedians Seriously and Politicians as a Joke

Sorry, No Political News Today: I know, I know. One guy is on tour and the other is on tour. Both are sniping at the other and each is telling whoever will listen that he is the way, the truth, and the light. In case you’ve overdosed on pontificating politicians, phlegmatic pundits, and the paralysis of analysis, wash your mind out with this item. Corey Warburton is 14. He looks like a typical teen with scraggly hair, backwards baseball cap, and a skateboarding addiction that he feeds whenever he can. On his way to a skate park he found a note – a suicide note along with glasses and a shirt on a bridge. He scanned the icy water and saw a body appear to move, so he did what any hero would have done – he jumped into the freezing water. He reached the woman who said, “Help me,” and for the next 30 minutes struggled to get her to shore. Finally another teen saw them and dived in to help pull the 70-year old woman to safety. She is expected to make a full recovery. Sort of restores your faith in the “Yes We Can” generation, doesn’t it?

From the Bureau of Inane Sadistics: Today must be a slow news day if you don’t count the political deluge that has impregnated our media for the past year or so. All the big time anchors with their reading glasses on their nose, their off-color hair dye, and pompous attitudes are worshipping at the political alter, hoping to get an exclusive with the next president. That leaves the second string to amble on down to Texas like a candle in the wind to be blown out and around the storm center. Somehow, a miked up tied down, bundled in much more than swaddling clothes reporter screaming to be heard above the din of Mother Nature is the latest bandwagon upon which the major stations have boarded. Any port in a storm, I guess. That leaves the interns – those crazy young creative Katzenjammer type kids who are left to tend the newsroom. So when the cat is away what stories do the mice play?

Marriage is for White People Only: “I am a statistic” cries Dionne Hill, oh so single but looking for Mr. Good Beau. She reflects on her fifth grade teacher who went to college, stayed a virgin, got married, and had her first bundle of joy at age 26. At age 12 Ms Hill – not the lawyer from Texas – had a dream to follow in her teacher’s footsteps. But at age 30 she is still searching. She cites the discrepancy – nearly half of America’s black women vs. a quarter of their white sisters have never been married. Her teacher, she concluded, achieved success because she was white. Hill withstood jokes and heckles from her co-workers and questions from other single black women. She has not given up hope, though. After this article there must be some eligible bachelor who will come knocking.

White Women Get Hammered Too: Our last story from the annals of the creative Youtube-genner tells about the dating load shouldered by white women. I guess equal time is important in the lives of the kinder-writers. Judy McGuire, a white woman who calls herself “The Frisky,” opines that women get called crazy more than men. To avoid the wacko label Ms. Frisky warns that when going out on dates women refrain from using the icebreaker, “My therapist says.” In fact she warns against any discussion of psychotherapeutic medications. Stay away from religion and politics she warns, and steer clear of any discussion of recovery. Finally, she suggests that gals wait until they are sure he has fallen for them before showing him the collection of restraining orders that have been taken out against her. Perhaps those gals should go with their new boyfriends to a doctor who specializes in psychiatry and proctology. Look in the Yellow Pages under “Odds and Ends.”

A little blogging music Maestro... How about that classic by Aerosmith, “Crazy.”

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