Monday, August 11, 2008

Going to the Dogs

Some days you’re the dog. Some days you’re the hydrant.

Born in a test tube; Bozo the clone: Consider Bernann McKinney the dog lover. She loved her pit bull so much she paid a Korean scientist $ 53,000 to have five puppies cloned from it. That act brought her fame and misfortune. Turns out she’s got a history of being quite a lover, and not only of dogs. Three decades ago she was a student at Brigham Young University where she fell for a good Mormon boy. He, like many good Mormon boys at BYU, interrupted his studies to go on a mission for his church. They sent him to England. Bernann, a former Miss Wyoming who then called herself Joyce, reportedly tracked down the object of her affection, kidnapped him, tied him up, took him to a love nest in a 17th century cottage and forced him to have sex with her repeatedly! She was not able to successfully convert the missionary and he slipped out of his mink-lined handcuffs and got away. Since the episode she’s had several brushes with the law including attempted kidnapping (of the same victim 7 years later), threatening another woman, assault on a public official, passing bad checks, and abusing a horse. Her life had gone to the dogs long before the cloned dogs came to her.

The whole state seems to be in collapse: The state of Utah does not make national news every day. The story of the wayward missionary kidnapper turned pit bull cloner has all the elements to keep Utah on the front burner of the Fox News kitchen for some time. As if that weren’t enough to sting Beehive State bodies to mind their own beeswax, their sky is literally falling! The stone arch along Devil’s Garden Trail in Utah’s Arches National Park has fallen. It is never good for a state’s tourist industry to have fallen arches. The stone arch was 33 feet tall and 71 feet across. There is no truth to the rumor that Bernann Joyce McKinney has sent DNA of the sandstone arch to Korea in an attempt to clone another one.

It is not poplar to be a son of a beech or a son of a birch: Mother nature has not been kind to Utah as noted above. Neither has she been a honey to a famous honey locust tree in Pennsylvania. The tree stood just 150 feet from where President Lincoln spoke and was called a “Witness Tree” for having witnessed the Civil War’s Battle of Gettysburg. But the mighty honey locust seems to have weathered her last storm as is recently fell during a storm. Thank goodness Joyce Kilmer, who wrote the poem “Trees,” is not around to see the results. In case you don’t remember the ending of the poem, “Poems are made by fools like me, but only God can make a tree.” Of course, she died in 1918, ling before we knew about cloning.

A little political silliness: President Bush is at the Olympics. He stood to be acknowledged during opening ceremonies and the entire panel rated his performance a ten. That is noteworthy because it is the same as his approval rating. Last we heard the two presidential candidates were trying to agree on debate topics. The Obama camp is leaning toward a new energy policy as the first topic and the McCain camp is holding out for songs of the big band era. A poll was recently conducted asking who people would rather carpool with, Senator McCain or Senator Obama. Obama was a landslide winner once the respondents were told McCain might be driving. Will Obama choose Hillary as a running mate? If Democrats wanted an African American man and a white woman they should have run Michael Jackson. Some pundits have accused the McCain camp of mudslinging by using Paris Hilton in an ad. The Obama camp struck by calling the McCain campaign the “Antiques Roadshow.” The news about John Edwards having an affair might explain his $ 400 haircut. The tryst also eliminates him from vice presidential consideration – too much vice to be president.

Building a bridge with a Ridge: Senator McCain has shined the spotlight on several #2 possibilities including Mitt of the Michigan and Mass. Mitts and the Pawlenty Governor who nobody knows. Today is the day to focus on Tom Ridge, the PA ex-Guv and strongman who believes he can deliver the Keystone State to the Repubs. Ridge and his new best friend started their campaigning in Erie – the city, not the lake or the canal, which is where Tom grew up and is s Demo stronghold that went for Lady Hill in the primaries. Pennsylvania could be the state that spawns both veeps if Mac jumps on the Ridge and Obie-wan is swell with Rendell. We’re not sure what, if anything that would mean.Stay tuned for the latest on the veepstakes.

Gender is not a substitute for sex – but exercise might be: If the elections are getting boring, politics has become a pain, invasions have become inane and the Olympics are overhyped, what about sex? Some academics say that breaking a sweat by exercising is better than wrestling in the back seat of a Mini Cooper. Research from Baylor suggests a smile can stimulate, and other researchers find that a sexual type high can be reached by shopping, public speaking, or eating. We suspect they might be spending too much time in the lab and too little in the bedroom.

A little blogging music Maestro... “A Groovy Kind of Love” by Phil Collins.

Dr. Forgot
See me also at http://vegasbuzznews.com/

1 comment:

media boy said...

Paris obviously has some marketing savvy; she can turn anything into a PR boost for herself... thx to McCain’s miscalculation, she’ll be selling more cans of wine than ever