Friday, October 31, 2008

4 Days to RAIN Day

RAIN Minus 4

Item First – Let it RAIN: From now until the presidential Election Day we will begin each post with a review of the Remove All Incumbents Now (RAIN) campaign. A good rain washes clean all the road scum, dust and filth. We hope that a cleansing of Congress will result in the firing of the legislators who are part of the group that bailed out Wall Street with nearly a trillion dollars, at least 150 billion of which was blatant authorized pork by Democrats to appease Republicans who had previously rejected the bill then changed their vote allowing it to pass after being seduced by pork. We are not sure how much of the bailout, if any, was actually needed.

Four more days: Despite the fact that this election has given me a cause to write about I will be ecstatic to get it over with. Candidates have become celebrities. One toymaker has released a Joe Biden doll. It talks and talks and talks and won’t shut up. Alaska’s largest newspaper has endorsed Barack Obama but it didn’t bother Sarah Palin. She she didn’t see the endorsement because it is one of the papers she doesn’t read. John McCain proposed buying up bad homeowner mortgages. He just likes buying houses. The reason Senator Obama limited the number of town hall meetings was his preference is to give the Sermon on the Mount. There you have it A tweak on the nose of each candidate. Bill and Hill and W have been such good fodder for humorists but we must now search for topics for the new guys (no offense with the “guys” comment Sarah). I can hardly wait until next Wednesday to get back to doing more humor.

Another point of view: Back in the days when men were men an women were glad of it and you were easily able to tell one from the other, singer Perry Como had a spot on “Your Hit Parade.” His bit would start with, “Letters, we get letters, we get stacks and stacks of letters…” The song can be updated to emails. We often receive a couple of hundred per day. Some of which I share. The one below came to me recently from a former Doctoral student. It is not her original bit but describes her so well that she forwarded to me. It was originally penned by that great writer, Anonymous:

“I'm The One They're Talking About

With all the vitriol I've been hearing from the right-wingers of late, I can't help but recognize myself as the target of their vicious attacks. So I thought I'd take this opportunity to out myself, just so they know who it is they're spending so much time talking about.

Yes, I'm that American-hating broad who believes in life, liberty and equality for all Americans, not just those of a "socially acceptable" color, religion, address, pay scale or political affiliation.

I'm that leftie pro-choicer who thinks that every child should be a wanted child, and that the ultimate decision to give birth should be the difficult yet intensely personal decision of the woman whose body and life is involved. I also believe that people who really care about saving babies might want to think about the ones who are already born – especially the ones born in places our government is currently blowing off the map, or might plan to in future.

I'm that infamous anti-Christian who actually believes that I am my Brother's Keeper – and that includes supporting legal immigration and social safety-nets that provide food for the hungry, shelter for the homeless, care for the sick – you know, all that yadda-yadda stuff that Christ used to preach about back when people who called themselves Christians had a passing familiarity with his teachings. I also believe that just because Christ was tortured to death doesn't mean he was promoting the idea as something we are free to do to others with his approval.

I'm that unscrupulous libertine who has deluded myself into thinking that if the gay couple down the street get married, they're not going to destroy every heterosexual marriage in the neighborhood – and by the way, I've yet to hear a coherent argument as to how that would happen if they did.

I'm that unpatriotic wench who thinks that sporting a flag pin in your lapel doesn't mean squat if you're wearing it while supporting pay-cuts for the troops, or budget cuts to veterans' care, and more tax cuts for millionaires – or, for that matter, calling anyone and everyone who disagrees with you "unpatriotic" because you really have nothing of substance to say, but just love the sound of your own meaningless rhetoric blasted over the airwaves.

I'm that blatant sexist who thinks that if someone like Sarah Palin has nothing more to offer than being "hot" while seeking the office of the vice presidency, she'd better have something more in her training bra than a wad of Kleenex – like actual knowledge of the responsibilities of the job, for starters.

I'm that socialist leftie who thinks people should reap the financial rewards of their own hard work while the CEOs of the corporations they toil for share the resulting profits, rather than pocket them all while throwing crumbs to those whose labor created those profits in the first place. Yup, that's me - another anti-capitalist, spouting my big mouth off when oil companies earning record profits get tax subsidies, as though they don't deserve them.

I'm that big city chick, who couldn't possibly share the same values of Joe the Plumber, or the midwestern farmer, or the small-town librarian - or anyone who, unlike me, was raised in the right pocket of Americana - wherever that may be.

I'm that no-good Bush-basher who had the gall to notice that an idiot who couldn't string two words together without getting both of them wrong would inevitably lead this country into an unwinnable war (or two), financial ruin, complete moral failure, and global disgrace..

And while I'm at it, I may as well come completely clean – because, let's face it, you've got me dead-to-rights: I'm also a tree-huggin' environmentalist who believes in such outrageous ideas as protecting the environment, upholding the Constitution, equal treatment under the law, and civil rights – and the hypocrisy of people who call ME un-American makes me speechless (almost!) with fury.

So now that you know who I am, please feel free to vent about me all you want. I'm proud of who I am, what I believe in, and what I stand for.

But don't be embarrassed by not recognizing me in a crowd – you see, there are tens of millions like me, and you know what they say: All those liberal anti-Americans look alike. And we're all about to vote alike – which means voting your asses out of office.

And the next time you think about calling people like me anti-American, you might want to look back at what this election has been all about - and who the REAL Americans truly are."

A little blogging music Maestro… “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar” by Helen Reddy.
Dr. Forgot

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