Politics and Economy

If Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right, Try Three

The phone rings at 3 a.m. Did Hillary Still win PA?: The Pennsylvanians have spoken. Well, some of them have spoken. Those with a college education voted for Obama. Those without went for Hillary. Young lions: Barack. Old geezers: Hill. The 3 a.m. ad must have worked. Or not. See the spin. Spin candidates, spin. Hill says she now deserves to be the candidate because she won PA and if you count Michigan and Florida (forget that she signed an agreement to ignore them) she is ahead in popular votes. Obie’s camp spins, “Hey, we started 20 30 points behind and closed the gap to 10.” It makes my head spin. I’m reminded of the Shelly Berman monologue: “My tongue is asleep and my teeth itch. It is the morning after the night before.” Oh yes, we were glad to hear that Hillary’s great grandfather played football for Joe Paterno.

Republicans have their own spin: The other team – you know, the one that is not infighting at the moment, must be having a great time watching their adversaries do their best to self destruct. Says one Repub pundit: “Let’s look at the choices, on one side we have our choice of a lawyer married to a lawyer or a lawyer married to a lawyer. On the other side we have a nice old guy married to a beautiful blond who owns a brewery. Is there really any choice?” Who said those Republicans don’t have a sense of humor.

The Case of the Missing $ 20 Million Fence: “Yesterday upon the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today. Good grief I wish he’d go away.” One of the hot topics during any election year is illegal immigration. Some government genius, Homeland Security boss Michael Chertoff, approved $ 20 million to have Boeing build a fence that wasn’t there. They call it a “virtual” fence and it included towers that let the border patrol know when anybody crossed the border if they should not have. The problem seems to be that illegal crossers can’t see the fence so they ignore it and, well, the fence that isn’t there doesn’t seem to be stopping illegal crossings. So the GAO stepped in and scrapped the process. Mission accomplished.

Psst, Buddy, Can you spare $ 100 for a cup of Joe and a fill up: With gas topping $ 4.00 per gallon in many parts of the country it is not unusual for an empty tank to cost a C-note to fill. So buy a Prius? It will still take over $ 40 for a fill up. Although the candidates were too busy answering “debate” questions about who loves America more, had they been asked about this problem the answers might have been, Hillary: “If you can’t stand the heat get out of the air conditioning.” Barack: “People who cling to their gas guzzlers are bitter.” Johnny Mac: “We’ll be buying expensive gas for the next 100 years.”

A little blogging music Maestro... “Money’s Too Tight to Mention” by Simply Red.

Dr. Forgot