Tuesday, April 1, 2008


Guess What?

Nominations finally settled: In a move that stunned members of both parties Hillary Rhodam Clinton today announced that she is dropping out of the race for presidential nomination of the Democratic party. The deal that has been kept under wraps for weeks came as a complete surprise to Senator Obama as well as Democratic Party Chair Howard Dean. Senator Obama was quoted as saying, “I wish the Senator from New York success in all future pursuits.” Howard Deans commented, “This came as a complete Surprise to me.”

An even bigger announcement: A reporter from the New York Post broke the story of Senator Clinton’s dropping out of the race. Harvey Rhodam-Mudd claims to have had an exclusive with the former first lady. On his blog, “GuessWhat.com” Rhodam-Mudd wrote, “Hillary will be the presidential candidate on the Independent ticket. Ralph Nader has agreed to run as her vice-president.”

“This,” said Rhodam-Mudd, “Is the dream ticket.

Republicans respond in kind: “I’ll show them a dream ticket,” said Vice President Dick Cheney. We have just confirmed that our ticket will feature Senator McCain as president and Dr. Kavorkian as his Veep. It will be a nightmare ticket.” The 2008 race certainly looks to be one of the most memorable in recent history.

President Bush Ends War: The President has vehemently denied that he caved into pressure by ending the Iraq war. “It just came to me while I was reading “Mt Pet Goat,” said the president, “If farm animals like pigs and chickens can live together in harmony so can we.” Vice President Cheney called the plan to make Iraq our 51st state “Brilliant,” and added, “We will be changing the name from Iraq to Exxon. It just sounds more American.”

Big Mammal on Campus: Washington University is under siege. Students and faculty are being attacked in growing numbers – by squirrels! Dozens of students have reported being victimized and hundreds have been threatened by the rodents. Studies are underway to assess the impact of the trauma caused by the attacks. When asked why the attacks with such impunity, Professor Hazel K. Chu said, “They must think we’re nuts.”

New Calendar to be adopted: Scientists who have been studying the earth’s rotation have come up with a novel way to end global warming. Dr. Tu Hott, director of the $ 1.3 million National Science Foundation grant was quoted in a recent news release. “We are concerned that global warming is melting the icebergs and stuff, so we simply will adjust the calendar. Starting next year there will be only April, May, June, July, and August will be calendar months. If there is no winter, the polar ice cap will not have a chance to melt” The plan will begin in 2010.

A little blogging music Maestro… “Time is on My Side.” April Fool.
Dr. Forgot

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