Daylight Savings Time

Saving is a good thing, right?

As usual, daylight savings time has my body in greater disarray than jet lag can ever produce. Spring forward, fall back, what's it all about? Politicians, investment brokers, and money managers tell us we do not save enough. Is that what daylight savings is all about? My wife told me last week (she keeps track of these things) that I needed to set the clocks back one hour. I did so and woke up to find that all the clocks except the cable box and cell phones had the wrong time. Turns out that this year we did the deed one week later than other years. (that's why I don't keep track of those things. My mind is cluttered enough already).

So why did we wait a week to adjust our clocks this year? Could it have been because of something Al Gore has been telling us about? He should know. He's an Emmy and Nobel winner. I put my crack research team together and sent them out to see why the change changed. After sound academic research and getting their heads together (that must have hurt) they came back with a logical explanation - it was the candy lobby that delayed the change.

Seems like if the little kiddees and neighborhood thugs went door to door one hour later it would be darker so fewer kids would tap on your timber begging for sugar filled treats. Because it would be darker earlier, households would turn out their lights and pretend nobody was home sooner. The net result would be that less candy would be purchased and Mrs. Mars, Hershey, Nestle and the rest of the chocolatiers would have a smaller bottom line.

Wait a minute, the stem cell research lobbyists failed, health care for children was vetoed, and FEMA has still not tended to some of Hurricane Katrina's victims. But the candy lobby was able to delay the start of daylight savings time. In the words of that famous counselor and comedian, Yakov Smirnoff, "What a country!!"

Dr. Forgot