Thursday, November 29, 2007

Is The Juice Turning Sour?

Will The Juice Have Juice in Vegas?

Juice is a Vegas term. It means political connections, drag, pull, influence. But a bad choice Minute Made Orange Juice, aka Orenthal James, aka OJ Simpson the talk of the town. Many think the former knife pitcher is guilty of bringing down Miss Brown in L.A town. Was OJ guilty? Jury says "No," Mr. Man of Gold says, "Not only yes, but Hell Yes!" Seems like the away crowd knew the Juicer was a stabber but the home crowd waved off the penalty and avoided the big Hertz. But that was long ago and far away. While the country withered at a mis-justice, the Juice did anything but wither on the vine. In fact, he moved to the state that resembles a flaccid male member and added vitamin G for golf and proceeded to live happily ever after.

But a funny thing happened to him on the way to retrieve his memorabilia. He got busted. Both of his two faces showed up on the TV screen - the one in which his profanity-laced diatribe bullied memorabilia salesmen into submission, and his TV persona side which appeared in the courtroom humble and contrite as a lad whose hand was caught in the Sunday collection plate. The pony-tailed young judge, son of a seasoned veteran judge who a few years earlier had sentenced Binion murders to the gallows (they were later set free) told the Juice man that he needed to return to the Valley of the Dollars for arraignment. And so he did.

In what resembled a cocktail party, with the OJ half of the screwdriver mingling with reporters the judge met behind closed doors with his high powered attorneys. As for the old Buffalo Bill, he then mingled with others in the courtroom, regaling his son's athletic ability, discussing Thanksgiving dinner, smiling and wishing anybody who would listen, "Happy Holidays." Perhaps he is hoping it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas and hoping that despite being naughty, the Las Vegas court system will treat him nice.

Within ten minutes, the grizzled veteran of courtrooms and charges pleaded not guilty to the kidnapping and armed robbery charges of two sports goodies salesmen in a hotel room. He had set a date with destiny, or at least a trial date of April 7, 2008. As he left the courthouse one could almost hear the female voice from his old Hertz car rental ad saying, "Go OJ." Others in the crowd held up signs and suggested more specific place that he might go. How about a little dancing music to get us on our way. Maestro, do you know a tune called, "The courtroom Waltz?"

Dr. Forgot

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