Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mothers Day

Sign on Pavlov’s house: Knock - Don’t Ring Bell

Today is Mothers Day. We wish a Happy Day to all mothers, grandmothers, mothers-in-law, expectant mothers, adoptive mothers, and anybody else who qualifies even remotely for motherhood. It is too joyous a day to do anything serious so we will take our tongue, place it squarely in our cheek, and write about songs that might be dedicated to famous people or organizations. For example, our first song “Battle of New Orleans” is dedicated to F.E.M.A. “Arkansas Traveler” is dedicated to former president Bill Clinton, “Ballad of a High School Jock” is dedicated to Kobe Bryant who went directly from high school to the NBA.... I’m sure you get the idea.

“Beat the Drum Slowly” is dedicated to all the wannabe presidential candidates who by this time have been eliminated from the race, “Big Rock Candy Mountain” dedicated to all the Hollywood stars busted for drugs. “Black Was the Color of My True Loves Hair,” is dedicated to Elliot Spitzer (that narrows it down to 80% of the women in New York), Bonaparte’s Retreat” is dedicated to the writers and political pundits who have had to spin their bosses words when a gaffe was caught on tape.

“Broken Vows” is a song that we will dedicate to all politicians, but especially that group who campaigned on the platform of single term service, got elected, and are still in office three and four terms later. “Cindy, Oh Cindy,” is dedicated by Senator McCain to his wife. “The Clerk and the Millionaire” also dedicated to John and Cindy McCain from John and Teresa Kerry.

Ok, enough of the semi-serious songs titles, let’s do some of the country song titles and see how they stack up: “All I want from You is Away,” is dedicated from the Obama camp to the Clinton camp. “Billy Broke My Heart At Walgreens and I Cried All the way to Sears,” is dedicated to the blue collar workers in West Virginia, also by the Obama camp. “Drop Kick Me Jesus through the Goalposts of Life,” to Reverend Jeremiah Wright. “Feelin’ Single and Seein’ Double is dedicated to Newt Gingrich.

“Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat,” is dedicated to New York politician Vito Fossella who was recently busted for drunk driving, phoned his girlfriend for bail, and as a result it was discovered he’d fathered a baby out of wedlock with her three years ago. “Going to Hell in your Heavenly Arms” is also dedicated to Elliot Spitzer. And finally, a song dedicated to all politicians everywhere who claim to start out with a high class campaign and end up slinging mud, “How did you Get So Ugly Overnight?”

A little blogging music Maestro... “Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” by B. J. Thomas.

Dr. Forgot

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